Family Ties: Building Sanctified Mothers
Family Ties: Building Sanctified Mothers
Opening Illustration:
Good morning church. Today we are in week five in a 6 week sermon series entitled Family Ties. This series has been all about building strong, grounded, Biblically based and Christ honoring families. Brothers and sisters, the family is under attack. This attack is Satanic in nature and this war is subtle. This battle for our families may not even seem obvious to you. This war is spiritual and if you are not looking with spiritual eyes, you’ll miss where the battle lines are being draw. Paul knew this to be true when he said in Ephesians 6:12, “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places”. This battle to tear our marriages apart, this battle to win the minds of your children, is not as obvious as a robber coming to break into your home and steal your belongings. Hardly! This Satanic strategy is to over schedule your families to the point of exhaustion, to busy you until you feel buried, and to implant subtle doubts of God’s love in the shows that you watch, the music that you listen to, the comedy that you laugh at, and information that you read in magazines and that you read online.
Friends sadly the news is not great for married people. Research was conducted by the University of Chicago discovered that just over 40% of married couples state that they are unhappy in their marriages. We have more and more people choosing cohabitation or just living together instead of committing their lives to God and to one another in Biblical marriage. According to marriage.com, “The cause of every unhappy marriage is most likely a deep-rooted sense of unfulfillment. A feeling that there is not enough love, affection, trust, respect, or other crucial components for a satisfying connection.”
Church, I firmly believe today that God wants you have a happy marriage, a healthy marriage, and a marriage where both the husband and the wife discover hopefulness and helpfulness. God wants your marriages to not just survive but He wants them to thrive. So, to catch everyone up this morning on where we have been and where we are going. Let’s talk about what we have learned. Friends, God wants your family, your marriage to be strong, sacred, structured, sound and sanctified. Do you know what it means to be sanctified? Sanctification is the process where a person or persons looks more like Jesus. The word itself, “sanctification”, is related to our English word “saint”. Both words have to do with holiness and righteousness. To “sanctify” something is to set it apart for a special use, to set it aside for a special purpose. Think of it like this friends, God has a plan for you marriage. God wants to use your marriage as a specially crafted tool to transform you and your spouse into the image of our Savior Jesus Christ. I have done hundreds of weddings over my service to Jesus and in every wedding I tell the couple that the reason that they are there on that stage, before that alter, in front of their families, is because God believes that they are better together than apart. God plan is easier fulfilled with the two of them serving together than a part. Husbands and Wives, your marriage should be sanctifying you each and every day!
Today we will focus on wives and mothers. Men I hope that each of you show a profound gratefulness for you wives. Men you should praise God for your wives as they’re are your most precious gift. Men you should honor your wives daily for their strength, their intellect, and of course for their helpfulness. You should daily show your wives the affection they crave. You should daily pray for them, daily encourage them, and daily seek to give them the very best of yourselves. Our wives are our dearest priorities and they should never play second fiddle to our jobs, our hobbies, or our pleasure pursuits. I Peter 3:7 reminds men that we are to “live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
Oh wives and mothers, thank you for being marvelous help mates. Fill in the blanks for today’s thought for me this morning. Wives, continue to hear God’s call to be a help-mate!
Point:
Oh my wife is a great help mate to me. It reminds me of a story about my wife. It was several Christmas’ ago. Angela came home after a long day at church and she sank into the easy chair. She said to me “boy am I ever tired”. I looked at her and said, “Tired? Your tired? I had to conduct two special services last night, three today and this week I have had to give a total of 5 sermons. Why in the world are you so tired?”
She replied, “Honey, I had to listen to all of them.”
I guess that I opened myself up for that one!
Point:
I was reading and article the other day by a gentleman by the name of Steve Carr. I thought that he made a profound comment about the role of a wife and mother. He stated that “the very first thing the Bible teaches concerning the role of a wife is that she is to be her husband’s helper. After God created Adam He said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” (Gen. 2:18).”
Background and Context:
Church we are going to be reading from Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. We are going to read Ephesians 5:22-24. I’m going to be reading this morning from the English Standard Version of the Bible. Before I do, let me set up the scene for you. For a brief time at the end of his second missionary journey, and then for more than two years on his third missionary journey, Paul ministered to the church at Ephesus. Ephesus housed the largest temple to the Greek goddess Artemis. Paul was extremely successful in leading many people to Jesus Christ. Paul wrote the letter to the Ephesians sometime in AD 60–61, around the same time he wrote Colossians and Philemon. He wrote the letter from a prison cell in Rome. Ephesians deals with topics at the very core of what it means to be a Christian—both in faith and in practice. Paul wanted the church to take the deep truths of their faith and apply it to the daily inner workings of their lives. Paul wanted to give these followers of Christ some practical advice on how they were to carry themselves in public and in private. Paul gave them instructions on how to manage the church as well as how to manage their families. In fact, we will be in this very chapter for the next two weeks as we talk about how husbands should treat their wives and how wives should treat their husbands. So, let’s read together from Ephesians 5:22-24 this morning.
Scripture:
Ephesians 5:22-24 ESV
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”
What Have We Learned?
God Wants Your Family To Be Strong, Sacred, Structured, Sound and…Sanctified!
Today’s Thought:
Wives, Continue To Hear God’s Call To Be A Help-mate!
Today’s Quote:
“The very first thing the Bible teaches concerning the role of a wife is that she is to be her husband’s helper. After God created Adam He said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” (Gen. 2:18).”
-Steve Carr
Today’s Scripture:
Ephesians 5:22-24 ESV
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”
What Should Mothers and Wives Model?
I. Model Helpfulness
Point:
So let’s look briefly this morning what God’s Word expects wives and mothers to model in their homes, in their families. 4 small points this morning. Ok, the first thing that wives should model is helpfulness. Paul addresses quite clearly the relationship between husbands and wives in Ephesians 5. Cleary this relationship is the centerpiece, it is the linchpin of our very society and culture. I don’t often quote The Message translation but I really loved how this text was translated. “Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.”
From the moment that the very first female and mother to the entire human species was created, God intended Eve to be a help-mate to Adam. This was a pattern to be repeated in perpetuity, from age to age and era to era. Genesis 2:18 reminds us what God said about Eve stating, “it is not good that man should be alone; I will make a helper comparable to him.” This word “helper” means someone who has been sent to lend support and aid. It is also important to note that if God states that women are to be a helper, then it stands to reason that we men need a lot of help.
Wives, understand that we men, your husbands, are incomplete without you. God knew that man by himself was going to be incomplete in his abilities to parent children, to adequately manage a home, men by themselves would be unable to find intimate satisfaction apart from a help mate…a wife. God created woman with unique emotional, intellectual, and physical abilities to enable her to fulfill her husband’s need for help.
Wives you should not consider your role as a helper as somehow cheap or inferior. You should see your role as one who has come along side of your husband to work with him to meet the vast needs of your family. Marriage is a team sport. Angela and I have a motto in our home. When we have a job to do, a place to go, or an obstacle that needs to be overcome, we hold hands and say “team Davidson unite”! It is Angela’s way to show solidarity and unity. Trust me, I cannot do it without her!
One of the most definite, clear ways that a wife can model helpfulness is by providing wise, Godly counsel and advice to her husband. There are literally countless instances in the Bible where women gave their (sometimes very thick headed husbands mind you, advice and wise counsel. These women were able to help their husbands make extremely discerning decisions and even helped them make essential adjustments to their attitudes. Sarah gave advice to Abraham in Genesis 21:12, Abigail gave advice Nabal in I Samuel 25:3. The text speaks of Abigail as a “women who was very discerning and beautiful”. Isn’t it interesting that her beauty was attached to her discernment? Remember Pontius Pilate’s wife? She advised him to let Jesus go In Matthew 27. Proverbs 31:16-18 reminds us the value of a helpful, wise, and discerning wife. “She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.” Remember Solmon’s wisdom captured in Ecclesiastes 4.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 ESV
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
What Should Mothers and Wives Model?
I. Model Helpfulness
II. Model Meekness
Point:
So, wives you should model helpfulness. Point two is wives should model meekness. What do I mean by that? Well Paul states clearly that “wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”
The Greek Word for submit is hupotassō. It is used 40 times in the New Testament. Simply put it means to relinquish control or submit ones will. Another way to translate the word is “serve” or “be considerate of”. Using this translation completely changes the attitude of the scripture. This means that wives should serve their husbands and be considerate of their needs. Now boys, you are not off the hook. Just look at Paul's words considering serving one another. Men as your wives seek to be considerate to your needs, Scripture is clear that we too are to serve our wives in the most loving manner possible.
“In humility consider other better than yourselves. Each should look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others.”
Philippians 2:3-4
“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.”
Romans 12:10
“Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.”
1 Corinthians 10:24
“Be kind and tender-hearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ, God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32
Galatians 5:13 ESV
“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.”
“As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
Colossians 3:12
For many of us, submission or serving is a dirty word. We equate it with slave or servant. To us it means that we have no choice or that the one who we are being submissive towards is somehow above us. Not so. Submission is something that everyone has to do and we do it every single day with absolutely no problem. We submit ourselves to traffic laws and criminal codes. If you work outside your house, you submit to a boss or an employer. If you are a student, you submit yourself to a principal, a teacher, or even a resource officer. When you go to the doctor, you submit yourself to his or her prescriptions and you agree to take the medicines they offer you. You submit yourselves to all of these people without the first thought that somehow someway that they are any better than you. The police officer is not better than you if he writes you a ticket. Your boss is not better than you even if he requires you to be at work at 8 a.m. Your teacher is not better than you if she wants your assignment on Friday. Your doctor is not better than you when he asks you to take that medicine. You submit to these people because it brings you into harmony with your community, your school, your work, and your doctor’s office. The same holds true for your marriage. True Biblical submission in your home will bring harmony and health to the relationship you have with your husband.
Point:
Sadly submission in our homes has been abused and it has resulted in numerous abuses. The meaning behind the verses has been taken out of context and its meaning stolen. Submission does not mean that you are a slave or some sort of bond servant. You are not a second class citizen in your own home. Paul makes an insanely revolutionary statement in Galatians 3:28, at least it was revolutionary at the time when it was written. “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” When Paul wrote these words women were considered to have zero rights. They were thought to be personal property of their husbands. Peter, remember Peter, agreed with Paul that wives were equal to men. That’s right, women are 100% equal to men in the eyes of God. However, equality does not mean same. Equality does not mean that there is not a separation of roles and distinctions between men and women, husbands and wives within the home. Peter stated that women and men were equal by stating in I Peter 3:7, wives are “heirs together of the grace of life.” Brothers and sisters, in light of these verses, there is absolutely no room for male chauvinism in the heart of the Christian husband or Christian man. There is no such thing as a second class citizen in the Kingdom of Heaven and neither is the wife inferior or beneath her husband.
What Should Mothers and Wives Model?
I. Model Helpfulness
II. Model Meekness
III. Model Thoughtfulness
Point:
Mothers and wives, according to Scripture you should model helpfulness, meekness and thoughtfulness. Good wives are always considerate of both her husband and her children.
Illustration:
I recently heard about a very thoughtful mother. She loved her children very much. They had been begging for a long time to have a pet so in order to teach them responsibility, she bought them a hamster. The kids named the hamster “Danny”. For the first couple of months, things went fine. The kids took care of the little animal. Sadly as kids get distracted easily, Mom ended up taking care of little Danny. So, fed up Mom told the kids that it was time for Danny to go. She was sick of Danny. Danny was always waking her up at night. She was always having to clean up Danny’s mess.
The little girl said, “well, he has been around here for a long time. I am sure going to hate to see him go but you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do Mommy.”
The little boy said, “maybe he could stay if he just ate a little less and wasn’t so messy.”
Mommy was firm. “It’s time for Danny to find a new home.”
“Danny”, the kids cried. “We thought you said Daddy”!
Point:
Looking back on it I am so thankful for the thoughtfulness of both my mom, my mother in law, and my wife. If Im being honest, I struggle a great deal with thoughtfulness. My wife is much much better at being thoughtful than me. Still, what does Biblical thoughtfulness look like? What does it even mean?
I did what any good Christian would do when trying to answer such a difficult question. I “googled” it. I actually searched the following phrase, “what does Biblical thoughtulness mean”. I was dumbfounded by the response I got back from the popular search engine. “Thoughtful Christians follow guidance from the Bible, possess a consistent worldview, listen to voices of the past, engage with the world, and prioritize faithful community and character development.”
Again, go back to Proverbs 31 and you will see a very careful description of a thoughtful faith filled woman.
“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
Proverbs 31 speaks of the “virtuous woman”. The word “virtuous” means one who possesses strength and substance. The author of Proverbs 31 is a King in his own right. He states in his Proverbs that finding such a women is worth far more than “rubies”. He understood that the work that this woman does both inside and outside the home is worth far more than any paycheck could sustain.
Moms, you will be happy to know that I actually did some research on what a stay at home mom’s paycheck would actually be in the year 2022. Inflation was calculated in the final tally. According to Insure.com estimates that on any given day, a stay at home mom does on average 18 different “job”. Some days in a mother’s life, those jobs jump well higher than 18.
Moms these jobs include the following: nurse, chauffeur, chef, teacher, playmate, housekeeper, laundry attendant, accountant, counselor, financial planner, and babysitter…just to name a few.
If you were to pay a woman for the work that she does in the home she would earn $126,725 which is 9.2% higher than last year’s findings. According to Salary.com's Annual Mom Salary Survey from May 2021, moms should be paid even more — $184,820.
Wives and mothers, God has called you to be thoughtful, a woman of integrity and character. You are called to be virtuous. Your virtue is revealed in the works of your hands and in the love you have for your family. Proverbs 31 challenges women to be competent, industrious, and adverse to laziness. You are called to show Godly wisdom, kindness, and gentleness to your mate and to your children.
I know what you are thinking, this woman doesnt exist because this women sounds perfect. You’re right, this women does not exist on her own but with the Lord’s help she can. If you want to be thoughtful virtuous woman, you must surrender your life and your marriage to Jesus Christ. Ask Jesus to take from you the robber of your joy, the evil desire of comparison. Remember, you are a one a kind, perfectly suited for your husband, and you are the joy of his life. Remember Proverbs 19:14, “House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.”
Proverbs 19:14 ESV
“House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.”
What Should Mothers and Wives Model?
I. Model Helpfulness
II. Model Meekness
III. Model Thoughtfulness
IV. Model Togetherness
Point:
Model helpfulness, submissiveness, thoughtfulness and perhaps the most important role as a Christian wife and mother is to model togetherness. Companionship is the ultimate calling, the ultimate goal of your marriage relationship. Friends, why did God create Eve? Do you know? The reason that God created Eve is because Adam was lonely. Scripture tells us that Adam looked far and wide, searched all the animals, looked everywhere where a man could look for a “suitable helper” and sadly there was none that could be found. So God, sensing Adam’s loneliness, put Adam to sleep and drew from his side a beautiful bride. Eve was Adam’s perfect match.
You might be thinking wives this morning that you and your husband are just to different. Difference are good in a marriage. I am so thankful that Angela and I are totally different people. I vividly remember our premarital counseling with Dr. Jay Wolf. Jay had Angela and I do a personality profile test and do you know what the test revealed? It revealed that we were totally, profoundly, different people. Upon seeing the results of the test, Angela and I were a bit dismayed. Ill never forget Jay’s reaction. He was thrilled. He encouraged Angela by saying that she was the “string to my kite”. Angela helps me stay grounded. She is a realist. Without her I would fly off in all directions. I would have a lack of focus. However, without me, Angela would never enjoy any spontaneity. She would be all work and no play. What we learned is that God took our differences and created devotion for one another.
Couples, if you are different and your differences are causing disturbances, learn to appreciate one another. Celebrate each other’s differences.
In studying for this message I came across a very interesting statement concerning a wife’s commitment to companionship. Listen to this as it is challenging and encouraging. “Companionship is the most fundamental purpose and goal of your marriage relationship, and should, therefore, be the highest priority of your time together each day. God has called you to be a spiritual, emotional, intellectual, social, and sexual companion to your husband. In each of these areas God wants you to seek specific ways to develop companionship, friendship, helpfulness, understanding, and giving. As you love your husband in this manner you will naturally notice the deepening of your one-flesh relationship together. This is also where the joy and satisfaction of your relationship will be found, simply because you are fulfilling God’s design and calling for you as a wife.”
So how can you be a righteous companion for your husband? Here are a few simple things. First pray for him. Wives spend time daily praying for your husband. Second, praise your husbands. Wives I will clue you into something secret about men, we want your praise. Just like you enjoy compliments, your husband desires your compliments. Third, your husband wants your desire and your passion. Put a priority on intimacy and touch. Men, like women, want to be wanted and desired. Lastly, listen to your mates.
Now wives, you are probably wondering or even asking, “great you want me to do all of this for him, what about me?”
That is a great question and guess what, I will answer all of those questions and I will tell your husbands what they need to do Biblically next week. Ladies can I get an “amen”!
“Amen”!
Again, gentlemen, remember what Proverbs 18:22 states, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”
Proverbs 18:22 ESV
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”
May Your Marriages Glorify The Almighty!
Bibliography:
Web-Sites:
https://www.gotquestions.org/sanctification.html
https://www.biblestudytools.com/msg/ephesians/passage/?q=ephesians+5:22-33
https://www.sermoncentral.com/sermon-illustrations/13802/dad-by-tom-doubt
Books:
The Peaceful Wife: Living In Submission To Christ and The Lord by April Cassidy
When Wives Walk in Grace: Resting in Christ While God Works by Steve McVay
Paul, Women, and Wives: Marriage and Women’s Ministry by Craig Kenner
Marriage Matters: Extraordinary Change Through Ordinary Moments by Winston T Smith
Articles:
Christian Marriage: Contract or Covenant by PF Palmer
Creating A Success Christian Marriage by C McDonald
The Future of Christian Marriage by M Regnerus
Commentaries:
Christ Centered Exposition Commentary in Ephesians by Tony Merida
Ephesians by John MacArthur
Ephesians by Clinton Arnold
Ephesians: Thru the Bible Commentary Series by J. Vernon McGee
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