The Tremendous Ten: Faithful and True

The Tremendous Ten: Faithful and True

Welcome: Christian Pick Up Lines

For the Bible Scholar

“So last night I was reading in the book of Numbers, and then I realized, I don’t have yours.”

For the Theologian

” I didn’t believe in predestination until tonight.”

For the Legalist 

” Is it a sin that you stole my heart?”

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

For the generous tither

I don’t know if you noticed but, when you walked into the room, that was me giving up a clap offering.

Opening Illustration: Tried and True

After 50 years of marriage the couple was sitting at the dinner table and the wife said to her husband: "After all these years of marriage I know that you are Tried and True." He replied, "What did you say?" She said in a louder voice: "After all these years of marriage I have learned that you are Tried and True." He said: "Speak louder!" She said in a louder voice: "After all these years of marriage I have learned that you are Tried and True." He replied loudly: "Well, I'm tired of you too!!"

Point:

Marriages are in trouble today.  Divorce is rampant.  Homes are falling apart.  Men and women cannot seem to stay faithful.  What’s wrong with our society?  It seems that men and women have such a difficulty communicating and connecting.  

Do you think that fidelity matters?  Is it really important to be faithful to your wife or your husband?  What are the ramifications if we choose to be unfaithful to our spouse?  

Statistics:

The Journal of Marital and Family Therapy recently did a study concerning adultery, marriage and fidelity.  What they discovered is alarming.  

21% of the men surveyed admitted to cheating on their wife.

15% of the women surveyed admitted to cheating on their husband.  This may seem low but it shows an increase of nearly 40% over the past two decades.

68% of the women surveyed said they'd green light an affair if there was no chance of their current partner finding out.

74% of the men surveyed said that they would be unfaithful to their wife if they were guaranteed that she would not find out. 

Point:

These numbers are pretty scary right? Well I believe that God wants you and me to have healthy fulfilling marriages.  I believe that He desires for us to stay together.  I believe that there are several reasons why God believes that marriage is good and that marriages should be protected.  Let’s look at a few of those reasons this morning.  

Remember…

Marriage Is Meant To Be A Powerful Partnership!

Scripture: Exodus 20:14 ESV

Exodus 20:!4 ESV

“You shall not commit adultery.”

Background:

So let’s set the stage one more time.  The 10 Commandments signifies an agreement between the nation of Israel and God.  If Israel agrees to this covenant, then their nation and their lives will be blessed by God.  

The 10 Commandments were given first to Moses and Moses expressed God’s thoughts to his people. 

God gave the Commandments for several purposes.  First, He gave them so that the Israelites would have a system to govern themselves.  The Commandments would be the bed rock of their society.  

Next, God gave them the Commandments so that the people would see the need for salvation.  The law would reveal to the people their sin and their need to be saved.  Listen to Paul’s words…

Romans 7:7 NLT

7 Well then, am I suggesting that the law of God is sinful? Of course not! In fact, it was the law that showed me my sin. I would never have known that coveting is wrong if the law had not said, “You must not covet.”

Point:

One thing to notice, the commandments are divided into two parts.  The first 4 commandments deal with our commitment to God and respecting His authority in our lives.  Commandments 5 -10 deal with our relationship to one another.  Why is this significant?  Friends, if we are not right with God, then we cannot be right with one another.  

Think of it like this, if we are not right with God, we cannot have healthy homes and marriages.  I have seen it over and over again.  I have counseled countless troubled marriages.  The root of their difficulty was not with one another.  The root of their difficulty is that one or both people are not right with God.  Because they are not right with God, they are not right with one another.  

Point:

So today we are looking at the 7th commandment.  You shall not commit adultery. 

I. The Faults In Our Faithfulness 

(What Causes Problems In Our Marriages)

A. Broken Trust 

Point:

Trust, when lost, is difficult to get back.  Spouses who have lied to one another slowly sink their marriage. 

Broken trust really is seen best in selfish behavior.  We put our needs ahead of the needs of our spouse. 

Adultery really is just selfish behavior.  We choose to indulge our bodies desires and pleasures in another person.  

B. Buried Treasures 

Point:

Believe it or not, most marriages do not end because of adultery.  Most marriages end because the husband and wife have significant disagreements over finances.  Our financial resources were given to us by God to provide for ourselves and to serve His Kingdom.  When we look at our finances as if they belong to us we begin to have really big problems.  

C. Busted Team

Point:

By team I mean family history.  Does your family background contain generations of divorce?  Studies have shown that people who have come out of broken homes tend to err on the side of divorce when times get trying in their own marriage.  

I have spoken to dozens of couples who are struggling simply because their in-laws have made life so difficult.  

II. Why Should We Say “No” To Adultery?

A. Marriage’s History

Point:

In the first few chapters of Genesis we God form two institutions.  First we see God give Adam and Eve instruction on how they are to act and what they can and cannot eat.  God gives us the institution of His Lordship and Sovereignty.  God is in charge.  

Second, we see in Genesis 2 that God institutes marriage.  Listen to what God says…

Genesis 2:18-23 ESV

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 19 Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman,because she was taken out of Man.”

Point:

From the very beginning of time, God makes marriage.  Marriage is a sacred institution that God created and that we are to maintain.  Jesus, in the New Testament, remarks on the sanctity of marriage and that the marital bonds are not to be broken lightly.

Matthew 19:1-9 ESV

Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. 2 And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

Point:

From the very beginning of humanity, God installed marriage.  

Illustration: Lego’s 

Why does this matter?  Who cares what the creator says?  We know better…right?  Not so fast.  This past Christmas, my oldest boy Jay received a gift from me and his mother.  Jay really likes Legos.  This is the command ship for Kylo Ren from the latest Star Wars movie.  This thing has over 1000 pieces.  When Jay got the gift, he received instructions on how to put it together.  He went page by page and patiently put each piece where it belonged. When it was finished, it was a lego masterpiece.  Could you imagine if Jay would have said “who cares about these instructions, I know better.”  That would have been very foolish right.  He needed to follow the creator’s instructions in order to have a lego toy that was harmonious.  Everything is exactly like it was meant to be. 

Friends, that is what God has done for us.  If we want our lives to really matter we must follow the instructions.  If we are looking for harmony and peace, then we have to follow the Creator’s will. Yes, it takes time and energy, but at the end of the day, it will be worth it. 

Point:

So what is the history of marriage? Pretty simple.  It is designed for one man and woman for life until death do us part.  Notice that there is not one man and two women or two men with one woman.  Notice there is not two men or two women.  Just one man and one women.  This bond between man and woman enables for the human race to flourish.  Any other combination just doesn’t work.  

II. Why Should We Say “No” To Adultery?

A. Marriage’s History

B. Marriage’s Mystery 

Point:

If you look once more at Genesis 2 you will come to verse 24.  Let’s read it together.  

Genesis 2:24 ESV

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

This is one of the most mysterious verses in the entire Bible.  Two people becoming one flesh.  On the service, it may seem that God is talking about sex.  This is certainly true.  However, there is more to this Scripture than marital relations.  What God is saying is that marriage offers the ultimate avenue to intimacy.  

Most people associate intimacy with sex yet that is not always the case.  Intimacy is best described as Into-Me-See.

There is a mystery to marriage.  How can two different people with different anatomy become one flesh?  

What Does One Flesh Mean?

1. One Flesh Is A Physical Bond 

God drew from within Adam a rib and created Eve from that rib.  Adam immediately realized this and recognized the physical attachment that he had with Eve.  She was one flesh with Adam.  Marriage recreates that physical intimacy that Adam and Eve felt when she was created and partnered with Adam.

2. One Flesh Is An Emotional Bond

Of all the bonds that Adam shared, this would be the most precious bond.  This bond would surpass all other bonds in Adam’s life.  Notice that God says that when we marry, that we will leave our father and mother and join to another for our live.  Literally we set aside our own blood kin, those that share our own DNA, to bond with someone else.  That person takes precedent over all other connections.  

3. One Flesh Is A Sacrificial Bond

When we enter into a marriage bond, we agree to serve one another.  We lift the needs of the other above our own.  Married couples are to meet one another’s physical, social, mental, emotional, and spiritually needs.  This sometimes means that we must lay down our desires to serve the other.  

It is really a miracle that people can do this.  Certainly many couples struggle serving one another.  

Point:

Friends that is why adultery is so painful.  When we add an extra person into the marriage it tears apart the bonds that God has so generously put together. 

Point:

Jesus even maintains that adultery extends beyond a physical act.  Adultery involves lust as well.  Lets’ read what Jesus has to say about the matter in Matthew 5:27-32 ESV

Matthew 5:27-32 ESV

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

Friends, we must realize that when we even look upon someone with a lustful attitude we are committing adultery in our hearts.  Jesus says that adultery is no longer a physical act but a mental act. 

II. Why Should We Say “No” To Adultery?

A. Marriage’s History

B. Marriage’s Mystery 

C. Marriage’s Liberty

Illustration: Who Can He Tell

Ever hear the story told about the preacher who decided to skip church one Sunday morning to play a round of golf? Every Sunday on his way to the church building he’d drive by a golf course----and during warm weather he’d often see church members playing golf. It wouldn’t have bothered him so much if they’d both play golf and come to church. But that not what happened. No, they’d go golfing and skip worship. One Saturday evening he decided he’d show those church skipping golfers....if they could do it, so could he. So he called in sick and said they’d have to find a fill in person for the morning service. Then the next morning before dawn he threw his golf clubs in his car and he headed for a remote golf course more than an hour away. He figured no one there would no him. By the time he arrived, the sun was up and it looked as if it was going to be a beautiful morning. He paid to play and alone he went to the first tee. Now an angel had been watching this preacher and was asking God what he was going to do with this man who had lied about being sick and was now preparing to hit his first shot. God said just watch. The angel was thinking "oh man this guy’s gonna get it. I can just picture God zapping him with a bolt of lightning at the peak of his backswing." But there was no bolt of lightning, no earthquake, no rain---just a perfect shot---a hole in one in fact! The angel couldn’t believe it---what? How? But, but God the angel blurted out----how could you let him hit a hole in one---I thought you were going to punish this man? God said I am---who’s he gonna tell?

Quote:

When adultery occurs, three of the Ten Commandments are broken: you shall not commit adultery, not lie, and not covet your neighbor's spouse.

Dennis Hollinger

Point:

Brothers and sisters, adultery is a lie.  Plain and simple.  It’s a lie that you must carry with you everywhere you go.  You have to create more lies to cover the dirty lie that you are engaged in.  It becomes a burden.  Adultery becomes a heavy weight that we must carry around.  

That is not what our culture says…

We have novels dedicated to perverted fornication and the glorification of adultery.  These novels have been turned into movies and Christian women flock to see these films and live out fantasies.  

Men are captured in the ills of porn.  I recently heard a statistic that 85% of all internet traffic goes to pornographic websites.  

A former seminary professor of mine recently took his own life because he was discovered to be a registered user of Ashley Madison.  Ashley Madison is a website dedicated to helping men who are married find partners to engage in an affair.  

Friends, the Devil will lie to you and tell you that you will find freedom in adultery.  The Devil will tell you that the grass is greener on the other side.  What I have discovered is that the grass is greener where you water it.  Don’t buy the life.  Adultery is a heavy burden.  Remember there is freedom with marriage.  Dedicate yourself to your spouse.

Proverbs 5:18 ESV

Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth,

Point:

There is great liberty in marriage.  There is no guilt from physical, spiritual, emotional or mental intimacy.  When we engage in marriage we are set free to love one another in a guilt free fashion. Guilt enters the relationship we we allow others to enter into the sacred union.  Oh friends, I have met with so many hurt couples who are so damaged because of the hurt that they or their spouse have caused by inviting someone else into the marriage union.  

There is great freedom within the marriage contract. 

II. Why Should We Say “No” To Adultery?

A. Marriage’s History

B. Marriage’s Mystery 

C. Marriage’s Liberty

D. Marriage’s Victory

Illustration

On the first night of their honeymoon, the husband isn’t sure how to tell his bride about his stinky feet and smelly socks, while the wife is wondering how to break the news to him about her awful breath, which so far, she’s been able to cover up. After some soul-searching, the
husband gathers his nerve and says, “I have a confession.”

She draws closer, peers into his eyes, and says, “Darling, so do I.”

Recoiling, he says, “Don’t tell me—you’ve eaten my socks.”

Point:

Marriage is a beautiful thing because it increases the level of intimacy between husband and wife.  You get to really know each other in a way that is otherwise impossible.  You discover the weaknesses and strengths.  

Closing Illustration: Kite To My String

Start Engagement Clip (No Sound Please)

I have seen victory in my marriage because Angela is my…

Partner

Co Parent

Friend

Confidant 

and so much more. 

Point: Renewal of Vows

This morning, I would like to invite those of you are married to participate in a vows renewal.  If you do not want to participate thats fine.  If you would like to renew your vows to your spouse please stand.

Please face each other and join hands.

Men, will you continue to have your spouse as your wife and continue to live in this happy and loving marriage?

Men: I WILL

Do you reaffirm your love for her, and will you love, honor and cherish her in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her for as long as you both shall live?

Men: I DO

Women, will you continue to have your spouse as your husband and continue to live in this happy and loving marriage?

Women: I WILL

Do you reaffirm your love for him, and will you love, honor and cherish him in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him for as long as you both shall live? 

Women: I DO

I John 4:7 ESV

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

Then lets seal this marital bond with prayer.

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