The Tremendous 10: Honor Your Father And Mother

The Tremendous 10: Honor Your Father And Mother

Opening Story
An elderly man was walking with his grown son. The old man pointed to a bird and asked, “What’s that?” “That’s a crow, Dad.” A minute later he asked, “What is that?” “It’s a crow.” A few minutes later he asked again, “What did you say it was?” The frustrated son raised his voice, “For the third time--that’s a crow!” The old man said, “When you were about 4 years old, you asked me 75 times what that bird was. I’ve only asked you three!” 

Do You Respect, Revere or Rundown Your Parents!

We are now in week 6 of our 10 week study on the 10 Commandments.  What have we learned?

1. You shall have no other gods before Me.
2. You shall not make idols.
3. You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.
4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
6. You shall not murder.

If you remember we went a little out of order due to Sanctity of Life Sunday.  So today we will cover the 5th commandment dealing with honoring our parents.  

There is something very significant about this particular commandment.  Of all the commandments, this commandment has a promise attached to it.  If this commandment is obeyed and cherished, we set ourselves up for blessing.  

In my studying I ran across a sentiment of Sigmund Freud. Without getting to philosophical, Freud maintained that in order for a child to be truly free, he or she had to kill or put to death the influence of their parents in their lives.  In order to choose their own path, they had to leave the protective influence of their parents.  

Essentially, in order to honor themselves, they (the children) must dishonor their parents.  This concept is revealed in our culture everyday.  When we dishonor our parents, we embrace rebellion. I don’t think that anyone would say that we are not living in days of rebellion.  

Practical Illustration:
So, maybe you think that dishonoring your parents does not really play a significant role in our society.  Friends, we see the dishonoring of parents for the sake of freedom played out in last year’s biggest movie, Star Wars: The Force Awakens. I think most of you have seen the movie. Kylo Ren, the villain is confronted by his father Han Solo.  Han Solo begs his son to return with him to his mother.  Kylo Ren, longing to be free from the influence of his father kills him.  It was one of the most gripping scenes in the movie. 

The underlying mood in that moment is that when Kylo Ren dishonors his father, he ultimately destroys his future.  

Friends, if there is one thing to know, when we dishonor our parents, we destroy our future.  So, lets read together Exodus 20:12.

Exodus 20:12 ESV
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”

Transitional Statement:
The idea of honoring your mother and father is something that is seen throughout the Bible. Paul was a strong believer in honoring our parents.  Listen to what he says in Ephesians 6:1-4.

Ephesians 6:1-4 ESV
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

So from beginning to end, God instructs children, that’s me and you, to honor our parents.  Why?  Why is that so important? Why should we be so considerate of our parents?  Why not just take Sigmund’s advice and strike out on our own?  

Why Should We Honor Our Parents?

Definition: What Does It Mean To Honor Our Parents?
Honoring your father and mother is being respectful in word and action and having an inward attitude of esteem for their position. The Greek word for honor means “to revere, prize, and value.” Honor is giving respect not only for merit but also for rank. For example, some Americans may disagree with the President’s decisions, but they should still respect his position as leader of their country. Similarly, children of all ages should honor their parents, regardless of whether or not their parents “deserve” honor.

I. Honoring Our Parents Is A Command

“The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology.” 
--Comedian Ray Romano   

Multiple places in Scripture tell us how we should respond to the instruction of our parents.  The entire book of Proverbs is written from the vantage point of a father speaking to his son. You might say that if the son listens to the wise proverbial instruction of the father, that his life will be blessed.  

In his book The Integrity Crisis, Warren Wiersbe quotes Peter T. Forsythe saying, “The first duty of every soul is not to find its freedom but its master.”

Who is your master today?  Are you your own master or is it something bigger, something higher?  Friends, our master is God.  It is Jesus.  58 times in the New Testament Jesus is referred to as “Master”.  This is a direct salute to His authority and Lordship.  As we seek to obey Christ, we should obey His Words.  Honor your father and mother.  We do this because He told us to.

We do not honor our parents because of their godliness or because it is easy.  Let’s be honest, there are some people that are not very good parents.  They are hard to love or deal with.  Yet, God says that we are to honor them.  No this does not mean that we obey them when it contradicts God’s Word.  It means that we love unconditionally, support Biblically, and respect always our parents.  Even when our parents are not worthy of love, support or respect.  Watch this clip explaining the notion of honoring our parents from the film facing the giants. 

We should honor our father and mother because God says to.  As Christians, we should desire to humbly obey the words of God.  It is our obedience to God that ultimately displays our salvation. Listen to I John 2:3-6.

I John 2:3-6 NLT
3 We can be sure that we know Him if we obey His teaching. 4 Anyone who says, “I know Him,” but does not obey His teaching is a liar. There is no truth in him. 5 But whoever obeys His Word has the love of God made perfect in him. This is the way to know if you belong to Christ. 6 The one who says he belongs to Christ should live the same kind of life Christ lived.

Even if there were no promise attached to this commandment, we should desire to strive to keep it because God says to do it.  Obeying God is blessing enough.  In obeying God we bring glory to His name and potentially expand the boarders of His kingdom.  

Why Should We Honor Our Parents?

I. Honoring Our Parents Is A Command
II. Honoring Our Parents Is Crucial

Ok, who is God speaking to in this verse?  Cleary He is speaking to the nation of Israel.  Israel, to God, are like children.  They are need boundaries.  They are needing protection.  So, He speaks to them as children.  

Notice how this commandment is structured.    

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”

Do you see that God is again reinforcing the structure of the family.  The commandment is coming down from God. So clearly, God is the head of the family.  Next, He is speaking to children.  God tells children to honor their parents.  So, children in the home are seen as last in authority in the home.  So, where is authority placed in the home?  Well, who comes first?  That’s right, father is first.  The father is to be spiritual leader of the home.  It is the father’s right and responsibility to protect the home from evil physical and spiritual forces.  Who do we have next?  The mother.  That’s right.  In the middle of the family is the mother.  The mother, as it is in so many homes is the glue that binds the family together.  Her tender nurturing of the children and her supportive nature towards her husband keep the family held together.  

It reminds me of Paul’s words concerning the structure of the family found in Ephesians 3:18-21.

Ephesians 3:18-21 ESV
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

So why does God give us this formula?  Friends, the structure of the family is the fundamental building block of society.  A civilized and healthy society rests on the strength of the family. When the family is weekend our society as a whole suffers.  When the family is broken or when it exists in a manner that it was never constructed to exist, morality and values begin to collapse.  

Think about it this way, if a child cannot learn how to be obedient to an earthy father, how can a child be obedient to a heavenly invisible Father?  

Here are a few other key components to think about when you consider the Biblical structure of the family.  

1. The Biblical family is the ideal environment for spiritual growth.  The father instructs.  The mother nurtures and the child becomes the legacy of the parents passing on faith and teaching to his or her children.

2. The Biblical family is building block for growing God’s church.  Within the family we learn about love, compassion, work, and obedience among other necessities.  The child learns respect, fear, love and obedience to his father.  

Friends, without the structure of the family, our society begins to break down and so does our church. Have you ever asked why the church is in the state that it is in today?  I have a theory.  My theory is that we as Christians do not see the value of a loving Biblically sound home.  We are selfish not servants.  We want our way and when we don’t get it we threaten divorce.  We do not think generationally about our choices.  We think that our decisions as husband and wife only impact us when the reality is that they will changes the course of countless lives down the road.  

Friends, why do you think that Satan is so hell bent on attacking families today? The reason is that he understands this is true.  If he can destroy the family, then he can make a mess of God’s plan. 

Listen to Matthew Henry’s thoughts on the family.

If therefore our houses be houses of the Lord, we shall for that reason love home, reckoning our daily devotion the sweetest of our daily delights; and our family-worship the most valuable of our family-comforts… A church in the house will be a good legacy, nay, it will be a good inheritance, to be left to your children after you. ~ Matthew Henry, Clergyman

Why Should We Honor Our Parents?

I. Honoring Our Parents Is A Command
II. Honoring Our Parents Is Crucial
III. Honoring Our Parents Should Be Cheerful

Now if you are a teenager, obeying and respecting your parents may not always seem very cheerful or enjoyable.  I can remember as a teen my mother and I had some epic battles of will.  I would say things to my mother that I would never say to my father.  I feared my father’s role in the home because he was the disciplinarian.  My mother was the nurturer and she was very good in that role.  However, I was to honor her and I choose many times to disobey and be disrespectful to her.  I can remember telling my mother that I couldn’t wait to get out of their home because I knew that it would hurt her in her spirit.  

It was not until I got to college that I realized that I had missed out on so may potential and lost blessings.  If I would have been responsible and respectful, my family would have blessed me.  I was a typical thick headed teenager and choose not to honor my parents.  

I missed out on victory.

Spiritually that is where many of us are with the Lord.  We treat our relationship with Him like fire insurance.  We like the insurance, but when He becomes the inspector, we shut our door.  We choose not to obey him and in doing so we invite hardship into our lives.  We miss out on blessing.  

Let’s reread Exodus 20:12

Exodus 20:12 ESV
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”

God is clearly telling us that we embrace the family structure that He has created, there will be blessing.  We will live in a land of unending harvest.  

Quote From Josh Raybon:
One of the biggest struggles that young people face is the inability to see the consequences of our actions. As children and even as teenagers we tend to operate with a sort of tunnel vision that limits our ability to see beyond ourselves and beyond the immediate future. Parents have lived through the decisions and the consequences of their actions, and the actions of others. As a result, they possess a very unique perspective that could prove to be extremely beneficial to a child. However, when we dishonor our parents we put our selves in danger of facing potentially disastrous consequences that we never saw coming. 

It reminds me of a story I heard told about Roger Staubach

Illustration: Tom and Roger
Roger Staubach who led the Dallas Cowboys to the World Championship in '71 admitted that his position as a quarterback who didn't call his own signals was a source of trial for him. Coach Landry sent in every play. He told Roger when to pass, when to run and only in emergency situations could he change the play (and he had better be right!). Even though Roger considered coach Landry to have a "genius mind" when it came to football strategy, pride said that he should be able to run his own team.

Roger later said, "I faced up to the issue of obedience. Once I learned to obey there was harmony, fulfillment, and victory."

I John 5:3 ESV
For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.

Why Should We Honor Our Parents?

I. Honoring Our Parents Is A Command
II. Honoring Our Parents Is Crucial
III. Honoring Our Parents Should Be Cheerful

IV. Honoring Our Parents Is For Our Own Care

As we have already discussed, honoring your father and mother brings potential blessing.  I have to believe that because that’s what Scripture says.  However, dishonoring our parents must bring potential calamity.  God tells us to honor our parents because He cares for us and does not want to see our lives fall to pieces.  

Perhaps this is best displayed in Jesus.  Let’s read Mark 7:9-13. 

Mark 7:9-13 ESV
And he said to them, “You have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in order to establish your tradition! For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ But you say, ‘If a man tells his father or his mother, “Whatever you would have gained from me is Corban”’ (that is, given to God)— then you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or mother, thus making void the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And many such things you do.”

Let me reveal the context of this Scripture.  Jesus is talking to the Pharisees.  The Pharisees were the religious elite.  They were very pious, at least publicly.  They like praying in large places where people would be very impressed by their spirituality.  

The Pharisees were also very “creative” when it came to their giving.  To shelter their wealth, they would give it to the local synagogues.  Of course giving to the synagogue looked holy, which is what they ultimately desired.  Yet, they would continue to have access to their money even after it was given.  

You can imagine that taking care of family could turn into a pretty expensive endeavor.  So, the Pharisee would look at his aging parents and simply say “Corban” or sorry mom and dad, I gave all my money to God.  

The Pharisees refused to honor their parents.  They sinned and instead of blessing, Jesus gives them a curse.  My goodness, may it never be said of us.  

Listen to what Paul says about keeping the law correctly, especially honoring your mother and father. 

I Timothy 5:8 ESV
But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Worse than an unbeliever.  Those are pretty strong words.  However, Jesus and Paul are encouraging all believers to love and respect their parents.

After all, this is what Jesus did as His last act before He died on the cross.  Jesus honored His mother. 

John 19:25-29 NKJV
25 Now there stood by the cross of Jesus His mother, and His mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing by, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold your son!” 27 Then He said to the disciple, “Behold your mother!” And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home.

Jesus is our ultimate example of honoring His parents.  He respected Joseph. He took care of Mary’s needs by providing for her a home and a caregiver.  

So, why should we keep this commandment?
1. God said so.
2. It is the only commandment with a blessing attached.
3. There is cursing if we don’t.

So, Take This Information And Turn It To Implementation 


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