Family Ties: Build Strong
Family Ties: Build Strong
Opening Illustration:
Angela and I have been married 23 years in December. During that time, we have had the good fortune to live in one apartment and 3 houses. God has been so good to us because our boys have been brought up in the same home for the last 13 years. Our Daphne home is filled with so many memories. How many of you have that post inside your home where you have tracked the growth of your children over the years? How many of you, when you bought your current home, had bedrooms for children that were not yet born but today those rooms are filled with toys, stuff animals, and costumes? Living in a home for a long time is gratifying and satisfying. Living in a home is one thing but purchasing a home is another thing all together. Angela and I had the hardest time purchasing our home in Daphne. We bought our house at the end of the housing market crash in the early 2010’s. Loans were hard to come by and there were so many hoops that we had to jump through. One of the many obstacles we had to navigate was the home inspection. Now when we moved to Daphne in 2010, the home that we would eventually purchase was a spec house. No one had ever lived in it. We were hoping to be the very first occupants. Angela and I met with the bank and they supplied us a name of a good home inspector. He came out went over the house with a fine toothed comb. He check the roof, the plumbing, the electrical, and the HVAC. It seemed that everything was going well. I remember meeting the inspector at the house and he told me that everything seemed great but he had one more thing to do before he left. He had to check the foundation of the home. Was the foundation built properly? Was it stable? Was it cracked? Was it level or sloping? He told me that everything else could be perfect in the home but if the foundation was built correctly, that would be a deal breaker.
Thankfully the foundation of our home was perfect. We moved in and it has protected us from the wind and the rain. We have endured hot August summers, violent hurricanes, ice cold Februarys, and everything in between. What did I learn from that process? I learned that foundations matter. Foundations are important. You might say that foundations are fundamental. Jesus knew this to be true. Matthew 7:24-27 reminds us that…
Matthew 7:24-27 NLT
24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”
Jesus knew that His followers and their families needed a good foundation to build their lives upon. The rock that Jesus is talking about in Matthew 7 is His Word, His Truth, God’s Word. The fundamental foundation to our lives, the foundation that will protect us from the hot sun, the cold winters, the hurricanes of life, is the Word of God, the Bible.
Friends over the next several weeks we will be talking about building strong families grounded in God’s Word. Sadly families are under attack today. Marriage itself is under attack. We have less people getting married, favoring to just cohabitate with one another. Those that do get married, roughly 40% of them get divorced. There is also an attack on our children. Did you know that 44% of students have reported feeling persistently sad and hopeless? Brothers and sisters we need to understand that this attack on the family is Satanic in nature and demonic in actuality. Satan wants to ruin the family as the family is a physical embodiment of Christ the groom and the church the Bride.
Why does Satan want to destroy the family? The answer is really simple. The family is the bedrock of culture. “It is the biblical family that produces children with a biblical work ethic. It produces the hard workers and ethical employees and business owners that make ethical products. It is the biblical family that produces a righteous citizenry and statesmen who lead with integrity. It is the biblical family that produces a moral society and all that it stands for.
So, destroy the biblical family, and you destroy its culture.”
Point:
Husband and wives, I want you to ponder today’s thought. Is your family’s foundation faithful or faltering? Is your family existing on the bedrock of God’s Word or is it being blown by the winds of worldly change? Every good home needs a good building inspector and our ultimate building inspector is the Bible.
Point:
June Fuentes wrote an ebook entitled “How to Build a Strong Christian Home”. I read that book to inform this message and she aptly stated that “No Christian home would be complete without the Word of God. It needs to be the centerpiece of every Christian home.” Clearly God’s Word should be both the bedrock of our families and the best way to know if we have problems in our faithful foundation.
Today’s Thought:
Is Your Family’s Foundation Faithful or Faltering?
Let The Bible Be Your Building Inspector!
Today’s Quote:
“No Christian home would be complete without the Word of God. It needs to be the centerpiece of every Christian home.”
-June Fuentes
“How to Build a Strong Christian Home”
Background and Context:
In Matthew 22, Jesus is asked which commandment is the greatest of all the commandments. Jesus, being the good Jew that He was, responded with the Shema. “Hear, O Israel! The LORD our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might”. The Shema is central to the Jewish faith. It is as familiar to the Jew as the Lord’s Prayer is to Christians. It is spoken aloud two times a day by observant Jews. The Shema is also written and placed on the doorposts of Jewish homes. It is also written out on small pieces of paper and then affixed to the heads of Jewish males. The thought is that the Shema would be covering for the home and would soak through the skin into the minds of those wearing it. Again in Matthew 22, Jesus recites the Shema but adds an important imperative found in Leviticus 19:18. It is not enough to know the Shema, but we must also practice it by doing God’s Word. Brothers and sisters that is where we are this morning. What good is it for the Bible to reveal the cracks in our family’s foundation if we don’t do anything about it. We must take action before the cracks turn to canyons and the gullies become gorges.
So let’s read this morning from Deuteronomy 6:1-9. I am reading from the English Standard Version.
Today’s Scripture:
Deuteronomy 6:1-9 ESV
[1] "Now this is the commandment-the statutes and the rules-that the LORD your God commanded me to teach you, that you may do them in the land to which you are going over, to possess it, [2] that you may fear the LORD your God, you and your son and your son's son, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be long. [3] Hear therefore, O Israel, and be careful to do them, that it may go well with you, and that you may multiply greatly, as the LORD, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey. [4] "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. [5] You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. [6] And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. [7] You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. [8] You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. [9] You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. [9] You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
How Can You Build A Strong Biblical Family?
I. We Must Live Correctly vs. 1-3
Deuteronomy 6:1-3 ESV
[1] "Now this is the commandment-the statutes and the rules-that the LORD your God commanded me to teach you, that you may do them in the land to which you are going over, to possess it, [2] that you may fear the LORD your God, you and your son and your son's son, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be long. [3] Hear therefore, O Israel, and be careful to do them, that it may go well with you, and that you may multiply greatly, as the LORD, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey.
Point:
These words were recorded by Moses from God to be given to the people as they entered the Promised Land. God was establishing among them a Holy and righteous law that would serve as governance. It would be the establishment of this law that would bring peace and order to their new land and to their families. God wanted His people from the outset to have strong families.
In order for them to have strong families, they must live correctly in the new land that they were about to inhabit. God wanted His people fear Him, observe His commandments, and pass down those commandments to the next generation. Let’s talk about these three things for just a moment.
First, God wants His people to fear Him. What does that mean? It does not mean “fear” in the way we interpret the word today. The word for “fear” being used here is the Hebrew word “yaw-ray'. It means “to stand in awe of”, “revere”, “reverence”, and “respect”. To fear the Lord means that we stand in awe of who He is, what He has done, and what He will do in the future. It means that we show Him ultimate respect. Practically speaking husbands and wives, we “fear” the Lord by praying to Him before we make decisions. We “fear” the Lord when we give God our first fruits, tithing to Him the best of our gains. We “fear” the Lord by placing worship of God ahead of everything else, making regular worship a priority. I believe that one of the many problems families have today is that we have lost our fear, our respect, our reverence of God. God is no longer important and His statutes are seen as burdensome when they are really a blessing.
Next, we are to observe His commandments. Jesus tells us that if we love Him, we will keep His commandments. He takes it a step further in John 15:9-11 saying, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” Brothers and sisters, God is teaching us a right and righteous way to live and true life comes through observing His commandments. Husbands and wives, if you are missing joy this morning in your lives, your marriages, and your families, could it be that you are not observing the commands of God? So, what are the commands of God? What does He want of us? Scripture tells us in Micah 6:8, “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” We observe God’s commands when we tell others about Christ, when we are kind to others in the name of Jesus.
Lastly, living correctly means passing down the fear of the Lord and the observation of His commandments to our children, and to our children’s children. Parents, do you know that the decisions that you are making today will have a generational impact on your family? The book of Joshua records that after Joshua’s death, the Israelites forgot about God. As they forgot about God they forgot about His commands. When they forgot about His commands, the people were lost. It only takes one generation to lose sight and effect future generations.
I have been doing marriage counseling for a long time. I have noticed something during that time. I have noticed that husbands and wives that are considering divorce have parents and grandparents that were divorced before them. Some couples, dating back some three generations, have divorce regularly repeating over and over and over again in their families. What was passed from their children to their children’s children was not the fear of God, nor the following of His commands, but a brokenness and despair that leads to divorce. Husbands and wives, did you know that if your parents were divorced that you are 91% more likely to be divorced? It’s true!
I call this generational thinking! Moms and Dads, husbands and wives, you have an opportunity to pass down holiness and righteousness to your children. You can divert your children away from divorce by fearing the Lord, following His commands and passing these values to your children.
Illustration: Edwards vs. Jukes
Are you familiar with Johnathan Edwards and Max Jukes? Have you ever heard of these men? Jonathan Edwards, was a Puritan Preacher in the 1700s. He was one of the most respected preachers in his day. He attended Yale at the age of thirteen and later went on to become the president of Princeton college. He married his wife Sara in 1727 and they were blessed with eleven children. Every night when Mr. Edwards was home, he would spend an hour conversing with his family and then praying a blessing over each child. Jonathan and his wife Sarah passed on a great, godly legacy to their eleven children. An American educator, A.E. Winship decided to trace the descendants of Jonathan Edwards almost 150 years after his death. His findings are remarkable.
Jonathan Edwards’ legacy includes: 1 U.S. Vice-President, 1 Dean of a law school, 1 dean of a medical school, 3 U.S. Senators, 3 governors, 3 mayors, 13 college presidents, 30 judges, 60 doctors, 65 professors, 75 Military officers, 80 public office holders, 100 lawyers, 100 clergymen, and 285 college graduates.
How was this possible? Edwards was a believer in generational thinking. He was a Godly man who believed in passing down a love of God’s Word and a reverence for Jesus Christ. You can’t say that about Max Dukes.
Max Jukes’ legacy came to people’s attention when the family trees of 42 different men in the New York prison system were traced back to him. He lived in New York at about the same period as Edwards. The Jukes family originally was studied by sociologist Richard L. Dugdale in 1877.
Jukes’ descendants included: 7 murderers, 60 thieves, 190 prostitutes, 150 other convicts, 310 paupers, and 440 who were physically wrecked by addiction to alcohol. Of the 1,200 descendants that were studied, 300 died prematurely.
Jukes was not a believer in Christ. He did not see the value of faith in Christ and the proof is in the pudding as they say. Know this parents, you are making generational decisions that will carry forth in your children. Practice I John 3:7.
I John 3:7 ESV
Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous.
How Can You Build A Strong Biblical Family?
I. We Must Live Correctly vs. 1-3
II. We Must Love Rightly vs. 4-5
Deuteronomy 6:4-5 ESV
[4] "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. [5] You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
Point:
If we use the Bible as our building inspector, we find that to have a strong foundation for our families, we must live correctly. Another step in strengthening our foundation is to love rightly. Namely we are to love the Lord our God with all of our hearts, with our souls and with our might. What exactly does that mean?
To love the Lord with our hearts actually does not mean what we think it does. When we love people with our hearts, we often think about emotions. The Hebrew word being used here actually does not so much refer to our hearts but rather our stomachs. That’s right. When we love the Lord with our hearts, we love Him with our appetites or passions. Looking at the word “heart” in both the Hebrew and the Greek, the heart is in the middle or center of you. It is your thoughts, feelings, inclinations or understanding.
When we love God with our soul, we love Him by turning over to Him our pleasures and our pursuits in favor for His leading and direction. Again when you look at the word in the Hebrew or Greek, soul means breath or spirit. The soul or breath means the individual, the self, the person, as well as the mind. It speaks of deliberate thoughts and deliberate choices. When we love God with all of our spirit, we love God with all of our choices. When we love God with all of our soul it means we love God with our desires. How many of you when you became a Christian noticed your desires changed? The things that you enjoyed doing before you because a believer you didnt enjoy after you became a believer. I have met Christians who loved drinking beer and hard liquor before Christ only to find out that after becoming a believer in Christ they no longer had a taste for alcohol any longer. I have met men addicted to pornography whose desires were rearchitected when they became a believer. The thought of looking at pornography literally turned their stomach. That is what it looks like to love God with all of your soul.
When your desires meet the desires of God, you are loving Him with all of your soul.
Now, we must love God rightly with all of our might! What does that mean? The Hebrew word for might is meh-ode. It means abundance. Funny enough, it also means “muchness”. We are to love God with all of our muchness. When we love God with all of our muchness, we love God with every fiber of our being. It is a love that possesses our thoughts. We think about God. It is a love that possesses our emotions. We worship God.
We love God rightly when we love Him with our heart, soul, and might.
Point:
Husbands and wives, how does this look in your relationship to one another? After all, the love relationship we have with one another should mimic the relationship that we have with God. We should love our spouses in the same manner that we love God. We should give to them our mind, our soul, and our strength. As we seek to serve God in these three areas, we should also seek to serve one another in these three areas. The marriage that fall a part are the marriages that stop serving, instead they become selfish and self centered. We put ourselves above our partners instead of seeking to put our partners ahead of ourselves. When we do this, our relationship breaks down and fellowship is broken. In the same way, we should put God ahead of everything else, seeking to serve Him with all that we are. Love Him first then love one another.
John 13:34 ESV
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.
How Can You Build A Strong Biblical Family?
I. We Must Live Correctly vs. 1-3
II. We Must Love Rightly vs. 4-5
III. We Must Learn Properly vs. 6-9
Deuteronomy 6:6-9 ESV
[6] And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. [7] You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. [8] You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. [9] You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. [9] You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Illustration:
I recently heard a story about an anthropologist who was visiting a remote tribe in South America.
This anthropologist was studying a primitive tribe in South America that years earlier had been reached by a Christian missionary. After having lived among the tribe for several weeks, the anthropologist met with the tribe’s leader. He said, “You have a wonderful culture, but it is a shame that the missionary came and infected your tribe with his religion.”
The chief replied, “See that rock? That’s where we would break the skulls of our enemies. See that tree? That’s where we would sacrifice them to our God. And if that missionary had not share the Bible with us and if we had not learned Christ was our Lord, you would be our dinner tonight.”
Point:
The point of that story is God’s Word makes a big difference.
Point:
Today’s message has been all about building strong grounded families. Where does all of that start? Does it start with a husband and wife? I guess you could say that? I actually think that it starts before that. Does it start when we have children? Maybe but again I think that it starts even before then.
I believe that creating a strong Biblical family starts with our commitment to study and share God’s Word.
Trust me friends, the Davidson’s are not a perfect family but Angela and I did do something’s right before our kids ever hit the scene. One, Angela and I made a commitment to pray for one another. We committed our marriage to the church. We served in the local church together and we have never stopped. We read God’s Word together, talk about God’s Word together, and most of our closest friends have come from church relationships. Before our kids were ever born we did devotionals together before we went to sleep. Even today, we will still send texts to one another praying for each other.
Our marriage from day one has been informed by God’s Word.
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
Illustration:
When you walk into the front door of our home, you will find this placard. It is a picture of the church that we were married in and the date we were married. It is a daily reminder that our marriage is built on the solid rock of God’s Word. Because of this I do not have to fear divorce. Neither does Angela. She does not have to fear me leaving her or abandoning her.
Point:
Sadly we live in a culture that jumps relationship to relationship, thinking that divorce is the answer. Let me tell you, divorce is an answer but it is not a good one. Until our relationships are built on the rock of God’s Word, until we seek to love one another the way that we are suppose to love God, our marriages will never be what they could be.
Point:
We are to study it, that being God’s Word, but we are also to share it.
You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
Moms and Dads, as important as it is to study God’s Word, it is important to share it with your children. When our children were born Angela and I made a commitment to raise our children in church. They went to Sunday School. They participated in Children’s Choirs. They went to Vacation Bible School. Angela and I were committed to bringing our children to a saving faith in Christ. While I understand that it is the Holy Spirit that calls us to salvation, I believe that God has called us as parents to create an atmosphere where children can clearly hear that call and respond. That brings me to the most important part of this message. It is difficult for our children to hear the Gospel if we are not living right and loving right. Living right and loving right make learning right easier.
Moms and Dad’s prayer and Bible reading are regular occurrences in our home.
Point:
Now understand me Mom’s and Dad’s, you can do all of these things and still your children may make decisions to turn their back on faith, the church, even God. I know it because I have seen it. Here is the good news. Even if your children break fellowship with God later in life, trust that God will bring them back. Pray for them daily. Their story is not over, their book is not finished.
Know this however, if we fail to raise our children in a Godly, Christ focused, Bible centered home, it makes it much more difficult for children to respond to the Gospel later in life. Better to raise them knowing the Bible, coming to church, involved with serving the Lord, than to opt out and raise children distant from God.
Scripture that reminds us to “train up a child in the way that he should go and he will not depart from it” rings true.
Proverbs 9:9 ESV
Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.
One last thing and this is important as well. Maybe youre thinking this morning that your marriage is down the road. Maybe you are feeling that your relationship with your spouse is to far gone. The good news is that you are not to far gone. It is never to late to get started. Never to late for conviction to generate change in your families. Maybe your marriage is on the brink of disaster and divorce, maybe your kids are in full rebellion, brothers and sisters hit you knees and cry out to God. God is still in the miracle making business. Never give up on your family, and never give up on God. He is still saving people from hell and He is still saving marriages from burning. Go with God and He will change your life.
Turn This Information To Your Inspiration!
Family Ties: Build Strong
Today’s Thought:
Is Your Family’s Foundation Faithful or Faltering?
Let The Bible Be Your Building Inspector!
Today’s Quote:
“No Christian home would be complete without the Word of God. It needs to be the centerpiece of every Christian home.
-June Fuentes
“How to Build a Strong Christian Home”
Today’s Scripture:
Deuteronomy 6:1-9 ESV
How Can You Build A Strong Biblical Family?
I. We Must Live Correctly vs. 1-3
I John 3:7 ESV
Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous.
II. We Must Love Rightly vs. 4-5
John 13:34 ESV
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.
III. We Must Learn Properly vs. 6-9
Raise Strong Families By…
A. Studying God’s Word
B. Sharing God’s Word
Proverbs 9:9 ESV
Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.
Turn This Information To Your Inspiration!
Bibliography
Internet Sites
https://teachdiligently.com/articles/teach-them-diligently-sermon-on-deuteronomy-6
https://psychcentral.com/news/teenage-mental-health-pandemic-cdc-report
https://memphisdivorce.com/tennessee-divorce-law/divorce-rates-statistics-and-trends-for-2022/
https://www.drjamesdobson.org/blogs/7-threats-in-our-times-7-the-attack-upon-the-biblical-family
https://www.blueletterbible.org
https://www.sermoncentral.com/sermon-illustrations/3157/apologetics-general-by-brian-mavis
Books
“Building a Strong Christian Family Foundation”
Romy Baylong
“Building The Christian Family That You Never Had”
Mary DeMuth
“Raising Godly Children In An Ungodly World: Leaving A Lasting Legacy”
Ken Ham
“Raising Your Kids To Love The Lord”
Dave Stone
Commentaries
The Bible Exposition Commentary
The Moody Bible Commentary
The Bible Knowledge Commentary
Believer’s Bible Commentary
Comments
Post a Comment