Family Ties: Sanctified Fathers

Family Ties: Sanctified Fathers

Opening:

Good morning church family. Welcome to the last week of a 6 week series entitled “Family Ties”. Over the past several weeks we have discovered that God created marriage. Correct…God instituted marriage and He defines marriage as between one man and one woman for life. Marriage is to be one of the greatest joys of our human existence. Marriage fulfills our human needs for partnership. Marriage is a beautiful picture of Christ, the groom, redeeming and returning for His bride, the church. As a husband is willing to lay his life down for his bride, so too does Jesus willingly sacrifice Himself on the cross to purchase and atone for the sins of the church, His glorious bride. Marriage provides partnership for men and women. Many of you remember the day that you were married. The reason that you stood in front of that preacher, those friends, that church is because God believes that you can make a greater Kingdom difference together than separated. So, God created marriage for companionship and partnership. Your marriage is a team. Secondly we have learned that God created marriage for pleasure. Marriage should be one of our primary sources for joy and happiness. Marriage brings pleasure through intimacy satisfying our very human need for physical oneness and togetherness. That’s why, after God created Eve from Adam, Genesis 2:24 states, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Marriage brings pleasure through intimacy, that’s true, but it also brings pleasure through transparency. What do I mean by that? When you live with your spouse, when you become one flesh, you discover both the good and the bad of that person. You discover annoying habits that you didn’t realize existed when you were dating. You didn’t realize that your wife grinds her teeth when she sleeps and that she sounds like she is crunching down on chicken bones all night long. You didn’t realize that your husband has an unusual talent for snoring and passing gas simultaneously while sleeping. Good news, when you are married you have the comfort, the pleasure of knowing that your spouse will take you as you are, flaws and features, good and gross, the bad and the blessings. You have the pleasure of knowing that your spouse will be there, forever, consistent. Partnership, pleasure, and lastly, procreation. One of the primary reasons to enter into the marriage contract is rearing the next generation. The perpetuation of the human species. The passing down of fundamental Christian beliefs to children, to their children, and to their children. Not every marriage will produce children and not every person will be married. We know that Paul was not married, neither was Jesus. So understand that I am speaking in generalities here friends. Even those who have entered into a marital relationship who have not raised offspring would not deny the importance of husbands and wives raising children. How do I know that procreation is a fundamental design to marriage? Scripture tells me so. Again, after Eve was created from Adam’s rib, God gave both Adam and Eve instruction saying in Genesis 1:28, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.” One last thing that we have learned from this series is that marriage should help you in your progression to looking daily more like Jesus Christ. That’s right brothers and sisters, your marriage is one of God’s tools, transforming husbands and wives into His image.

Last week we examined God’s expectation of wives and mothers in the homes. I made a promise that this week we would look at God’s expectation of husbands and fathers in the home and I intend to keep my promise. This morning I want you fill in the blanks under “today’s thought”. Men, pay close attention this morning because I want you to hear from the Lord today. Fill in these blanks for me. Husbands, hear God’s call to revere Him and respect your wife. I will make a statement this morning gentlemen and I want you to hear this and allow this truth to penetrate your hearts. If you disrespect your wife you are living in open defiance to God. If you are not respecting your wife, you cannot, and I mean that this is an absolute impossibility, show reverence to God. In truth, by showing tenderness, love, respect, and affection to your wife, you show respect and reverence to God.

Husbands, today I want to talk to you about leadership. One of your primary callings in the home is to love and lead your family as Christ loves and leads the church. Men, you might be thinking to yourself this morning that leadership is not your spiritual gift. You’re not sure if leadership is your strong suit. Men, spiritual leadership in your home is not a choice, it is a command from on high. We will read about that in just a moment. I read an article this past week from a gentleman by the name of Greg Outlaw from All About God Ministries. In his article, Greg states the following about the leadership of husbands in the home,

“One of the primary roles of a husband in the Bible, then, is to lead. Leadership simply means influence. Therefore, a biblically-based husband should influence his family. Husbands are not dictators, they should not demand, they should not rule over their wives. Instead, husbands should influence their wives and families in accordance with biblical teaching. They should exemplify, with their voice and their actions, attributes that bring glory to God and value to their spouse and family. The fruit of a good biblically-based husband is a strong, confident, spiritually mature wife and family.”

So, men and husbands, let’s hear from Paul this morning on leadership within the home. We read this text last week and we talked about women and wives. So, open your Bibles to Ephesians 5:22-33. I am reading this morning from the English Standard Version. We are going to do something new this morning. Today we are going to start a new tradition at Eastern Shore Baptist Church. I believe that God is inerrant, perfect and true. I believe that it is the Holy inspired Word of God and that it is fit for our benefit. It was given to correct, rebuke, and instruct. So, as we read God’s Word together, let’s stand together and give it the proper honor that it so richly deserves. Will you stand with me today as we read the Bible.

Again, I am reading from Ephesians 5:22-33.

What Have We Learned?

Marriage Is One of God’s Tools, Transforming Husbands And Wives Into His Image!

Today’s Thought:

Husband’s Hear God’s Call To Revere Him and Respect Your Wife!

Today’s Quote:

-Greg Outlaw From All About God Ministries

Today’s Scripture:

Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

What Should Father’s Model?

I. Model Submissiveness

So, what should Father’s and men in general model in their homes? Well, our first point this morning is that men should model submissiveness. Paul states in Ephesians 5:22-24 that “or the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” Last week we talked about women being submissive to their husbands. How exactly does that work? If wives are submitting their will to their husbands, then explain the submissiveness of the husband.

I Corinthians 11:3 reminds us that the “head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” Did you see the hierarchy? Did you see the spiritual flow chart? Husbands are to submit themselves to Christ. The submit their will to the Almighty God. They submit themselves therefore His Word, the Bible, and the church. Men this means that you make yourselves available to Godly counsel, Christian accountability, and even church discipline if necessary.

Men this is why being a part of a local body, or a local church, is so important. Leading your family to join a local church signals to your wife that you are willing to be submissive to the Lord, submissive to the church, and God’s Word. Men, if you remember I spoke to your wives about being submissive to you last week. Question, what if your wife does not have an example or model of submissive behavior coming from you their husband? What if your wives see a void in your leadership, refusing to be held accountable, unwilling to be instructed in Biblical doctrine, reluctant to submit yourself to the authority of Scripture? I firmly believe that one of the reasons that the word “submission” has fallen out of favor in our vernacular is because men have fallen in their duties to submit themselves to God, to church membership, to Biblical instruction, and to loving restorative Christian discipline. When our wives witness our refusal to be submissive to God, do not be shocked when they refuse to be submissive to us. Men, do not be surprised when your children struggle with discipline and fall into rebellion if you yourself show no signs of personal submission in your approach to your faith. Men, submission in the home does not start and end with your wives and children. It begins and ends with you and me. Gentlemen, trust me, our wives will have no problem submitting to our authority when they witness our humility in serving Christ Jesus. Our wives will put their full confidence in us because they know that we have given the Lord our will, that we have given God our very souls. Our wives are awaiting leadership. Not just any leadership mind you. They are await our servant leadership.

The Christian leadership of a husband is different than the leadership that the world upholds and applauds. A Biblical husband is a servant leader. He is a submissive leader. While this may sound a bit like a paradox, Christ gives us the greatest example of what it means to be servant leader. Listen to Christ’s instructions found in Matthew 20:26-28, “It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Husbands, as the servant hearted submissive leader in your household, you are not called to be a dictator but a facilitator. You are called to influence your family towards Jesus Christ and the greatest way to influence Godly character in your home is to lead and serve. You are not the sultan of your home, you are the servant of your home. You lead with all the love that Christ has afforded you to lead. This means that you speak kindly, you treat your spouse with respect and in doing so, you show God reverence.

Again, be reminded of Paul’s words captured in I Corinthians 11:3, “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.”

I Corinthians 11:3 ESV

“But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.”

What Should Father’s Model?

I. Model Submissiveness

II. Model Security and Serenity (Protection and Peacefulness)

So, model submissiveness men. Second, Fathers and men should model security and serenity. You might underline the parenthetical reference there to the side. Men, God is wanting you to protect your family and provide peace in the home.

Let’s look at the issue of protection first. Men you are to protect your wives. Scripture is so so clear on this issue. In Ephesians 5:25, Paul states that “Husbands, you are to love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”. Did you hear that gentlemen? Jesus Christ gave Himself for the life of the church. Jesus laid His very life down so that the church could live and thrive. Jesus died a horrific death and suffered spiritual separation from His Father so that the Chruch could endure. Men do you understand the instruction that Paul is delivering to you and me this morning? You know, over the years Paul has received a lot of negative press because of his call for women to be submissive to their husbands. I think that we have already covered that issue this morning. People have called Paul chauvinistic and misogynistic. They have said that he is biased against women. That is simple untrue in ever since of the word. Paul believe that women carried value and were worthy of sacrifice. Paul calls men to follow the very example of Jesus Christ who was willing to die for the church. In similar fashion, men should be willing to lay their lives down for their wives. In fact Christian sisters, no where in Scripture will you find a prescription for wives to die for their husbands.

Again, look to the example of Jesus. Jesus believe that women should be protected. He listened to women when it was culturally frowned up to do so and he placed women in valuable roles in His ministry when women at the time had no social or civil rights. Jesus regularly addressed women in public, giving them a voice when it was routine for the Pharisees to quiet women and dismiss them as inferior. One of my favorite stories in the Bible is when Jesus defended the women who was caught in adultery in John 8. In defending the women and defying the expectations of the religions leaders, Jesus placed His life in front of the women caught in the sinful act. Jesus healed women and girls and if you remember, it was women who brought the message of the resurrection to the fearful disciples. All this to say that defending and protecting our wives is following the pattern of love that Jesus Christ has clearly set for all of us.

Now let me speak to the truth that men, husbands, we are to bring peacefulness to our home. Serenity if you will. Paul tells the Colossians that “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” In verse 30 of Ephesians 5, Paul states that we are all “members of the same body”. This means that as members of the same body, we should be living with one another in harmony. Men, this starts with us. Peaceful behavior is modeled first in us and reflected in our wives. Men, is your home a warzone? Is your home filled with raised voices, angry tones, bitter exchanges, and sleeping in separate rooms? How can you bring peace to your home and peace to your wives. Im going to give you some practical help. First, pray for your spouse. You’d be amazed how prayers for your wife will act like a scalpel cutting out the cancer of malcontent in your home. Men, do not raise your voice at your wife. Nothing will shut down a conversation faster than a shouting husband. Remember that a “gentle answer deflects anger, but a harsh word makes tempers flare”. Before you talk to your spouse, agree to not raise your voices and agree not to take defensive postures. Do not threaten your wife with divorce. I cannot tell you how much I hate that word. I know that it wrong to say that I hate anything or anyone, but friends I hate divorce. I have seen more lives wrecked and more children damaged through divorce. Do not joke about or use it as a weapon to wield in a heated conversation. Lastly, husbands bring peace to your home by being considerate of the pressure that your wife is feeling. Our wives are gifted multi talented individuals. In any given day, the hats they wear are cook, counselor, chauffeur, coach, financial planner, doctor, nurse, teacher, tutor, maid, mentor, and that is all before she has had to do her day job. Most men will never fully realize the hardships that they wives have to endure. Be patient with your wives and allow them the space to breathe, to be angry, frustrated, and just down right ugly.

Be forgiving and graceful because men, we can be pretty difficult to live with. Lastly, don’t hijack your spouse’s needs with your stress. In an article by Brad and Heidi Mitchell, this issue of hijacking your spouses needs with our stress is addressed. Here is a direct quote from the article.

“Have you ever watched a couple where one spouse poured out their pain only to have their situation “one-upped” by their mate? We’ve done this and we’re not proud of it.

When your spouse is going through a period of stress or uncertainty, this isn’t the time to become needy. Instead, be strong and focus on their situation until it stabilizes. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV) says, “Two are better than one…if either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Focus on what they are going through. Empathize with them. Comfort them. Center their thoughts on Jesus. Help them to stand strong again.”

Again, husbands bring peace to your home. Protect your wives. Remember Paul’s words in Colossians 3:19, “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”

Colossians 3:19 ESV

“Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”

What Should Father’s Model?

I. Model Submissiveness

II. Model Security and Serenity (Protection and Peacefulness)

III. Mode Stability (Provision)

In verse 28, Paul reminds us that “in the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” Men, we are to model submissiveness, security and serenity, and stability. Underline that parenthetical notation. Men, we are to provide for our families. We are to provide for our wives. As we do for our own physical bodies, we should do for our wives. As we provide for ourselves, we should provide for others, especially our wife and our children.

From the very beginning of time, God expected men to work. Genesis 2:15 clearly states that “The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.” There are two Hebrew words that need to be recognized here. The first is the Hebrew word for “work” which is aw-bad and it means to labor. However, there is a deeper meaning behind the word. The real meaning for the word aw-bad according to the Greek and Hebrew Lexicon is “to serve another by labor”. Think of it like this, Adam was not just obeying God by working in the Garden, he was serving Eve by working in the garden. He was fulfilling His manly duty by working. Work is another avenue to serve Eve for Adam. The other Hebrew word is “to keep it”. Adam was instructed to work in the garden and to keep the garden. What does that mean. Again the Hebrew word for “keep” is shaw-mar and it means to keep, guard or observe. Adam was sent into the garden to watch over it, to guard it and to have charge over it. Men, in the same way our wives should Biblically expect us to watch over our homes, guarding it.

Now some of you are thinking that you are already doing this, you are fulfilling this calling. You have a gun and you have ninja stars at the ready to ward off evil transgressors. While physically protecting your homes is certainly a calling on all men, I want you to look a bit deeper into your calling to guard and protect your home.

Listen to the words of Christ in Mark 3:22-27.

Mark 3:22-27 ESV

22 And the scribes who came down from Jerusalem were saying, “He is possessed by Beelzebul,” and “by the prince of demons he casts out the demons.” 23 And he called them to him and said to them in parables, “How can Satan cast out Satan? 24 If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. 25 And if a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. 26 And if Satan has risen up against himself and is divided, he cannot stand, but is coming to an end. 27 But no one can enter a strong man's house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man. Then indeed he may plunder his house.

The part of that passage that I really want you to pay attention to is verses 26-27. The way that Satan, the thief who is bent on stealing, killing and destroying, enter the home is he must first bind up the strong man. Men, you are that strong man. Satan knows that he can destroy your family if he binds you up. He wants to bind you up with addiction, through alcoholism, thru lust, through jealous and coveting material possessions. The way he binds you up is he convinces you to allow the messaging of the world to enter your home, slowly poising the minds of your children and wife. If he binds you up, you cannot defend your home. Satan will tear your home down from the inside.

Men, provide for your wife by working to serve her and provide for her by keeping your home free from the spoils of the Adversary. Again, Paul speaks with clarity on this issue in his letter to Timothy. I Timothy 5:8 reminds us that “anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

I Timothy 5:8 ESV

“But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

What Should Father’s Model?

I. Model Submissiveness

II. Model Security and Serenity (Protection and Peacefulness)

III. Mode Stability (Provision)

IV. Model Satisfaction

Men, this last point is perhaps the most important for you to hear this morning. Biblically speaking, your role as a man, as a father, and as a husband is to provide companionship to your wife. She is your spiritual equal in every way. Yet, she has a different role in the home. While God has set you in a leadership role in the home, it is the role of a servant leader, in the same model of Christ Jesus Himself. While the roles may differ, the importance of each role is equally important. Men as your wives see your submissiveness to God’s Word, to God Himself, and to the church, your wife will not resist in being submissive to your role in the family. You may be the leader but she is the helper. What good is your leadership without her help and what good is her help without you being there to lead. Remember men, if you at the rudder of your family, then your wife is the sail that catches the favor of God in her sails.

Men, you were called to love, respect, and honor your wife in every way. Serving her and allowing the marriage relationship to sanctify you. Biblically speaking, God created women and men with natural differences and these differences are seen physically, emotionally, mentally, socially and spiritually. Because we are different, it opens both men and women up to a mutual agreement of help and understanding. If there were no differences between men and women, we would not need one another for partnership, for pleasure, or for procreation. In fact that is why we know that homosexual unions are an affront to God and His Word. Where the man is weak, the woman is strong and where the woman is weak, the man is strong. Thank God for our differences. One way that men and women serve one another through companionship is through physical and emotional intimacy. In I Corinthians 7:2-5, Paul reminds men and women the value of companionship and intimacy, “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

Men, this means that your wife is the most important earthly relationship. More important than your relationship with the fellas. More important that your pursuits at work. She is more important than even your children. She is your priority and you should daily seek to lead her closer to Christ. You should seek to serve her as Christ serves the church. You should seek to sanctify her by submitting yourself to Christ Jesus.

Brothers and sisters, I hope that you have found these messages challenging and encouraging. I think that one of the best things that we can do for all of our marriages is to pray for one another.

Matthew 19:4-6 ESV

“He answered, ‘Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

May God Bless Your Homes!

Bibliography:

Web-Sites:

https://corechristianity.com/resource-library/articles/6-things-a-christian-husband-should-give-his-wife/

https://www.allaboutgod.com/role-of-husband-in-the-bible.htm

https://findingjoyinyourhome.com/5-marks-of-a-biblical-husband/

https://buildyourmarriage.org/how-to-bring-peace-to-your-spouse/

https://bestofchristianity.com/bible-verses-about-a-man-working-for-his-family/

Books:

Men and Marriage by George Gilder

Marriage in Men’s Lives by Steven L. Nock

Straight Talk About Men and Marriage: What Men Need To Know by Martin G. Friedman