According To Luke: Dealing With Difficult People

According To Luke: Dealing With Difficult People

Opening Illustration:

How many of you say a prayer like this, “Lord be with me today”? How many of you have said a prayer like this, “Lord give me an opportunity to display my faith today”? I have prayed prayers like that and I am thankful that God answers those prayers everyday. That’s right, everyday God provides me opportunities to share my faith and see Jesus move. Everyday. 

What I have discovered is that God provides those opportunities in curious ways. He presence is most felt in my life when difficult people are near or when difficult circumstances are present. Isn’t that funny? God I want you to be near. Ok Stuart, here are some really hard times, difficult situations, and troublesome people. Um God, that is not exactly what I was talking about. 

God, give me an opportunity to live out my faith. Ok Stuart, here is someone that is really hard to love, speaks poorly of you, dislikes you publicly, love that person and live our your faith to him/her. Um Lord, that is not exactly what I was talking about. 

Isn’t it funny that God sometimes works that way. He gives us hard circumstances to test our faith and difficult people to strengthen our faith. Most times when those hard days and difficult people come, we try to run away. That’s not God plan, He wants us to stick it out, stay put, and put our faith on display. 

Illustration:

The other day I was helping my kids work on their Awana cars. I employed the help of several people. I asked Bryant to help. He did. I asked Tony to help. He did. We used various tools and sadly, our cars still finished last. 

While I was in the shop I realized that some difficult people are just like these tools. 

Measuring Tape: These people always let us know that we don’t quite measure up. These perfectionists feel compelled to set the standards for everyone else. In short, they judge by their own standards of righteousness.

The Hammer: These people are as subtle as a freight train. They push their agendas on others and force their will. Everyone walks on eggshells around a hammer, because we never know when the hammer’s going to come down! They are stubbornly committed to use force in whatever way that it works for them to get their way.

Skill Saw: Know just the thing to say that will hurt the most. These people have a great ability to cut to the quick and leave others bleeding on the floor. Skill saws win verbal arguments every time- not because they’re right, but because they know where to cut to weaken others.

Difficult people are everywhere. They were even around Jesus during His ministry. So, what is our response to them? What did Jesus do to love them? Well, fill in this statement for me this morning. 

Difficult people can dismantle you, they can tear you apart and make you feel small and insignificant. They can discomfort you. They can make it to where you do want to go to school, to work, to church. They can make you sorry that you even woke up today. Or, God can use difficult people to display your faith. After all, God sometimes works the hardest when times and people are rough. 

Difficult People Can Dismantle You, Discomfort You, or Help You Display Your Faith!

Background:

Luke 9 is one of the most action packed pieces of Scripture in the Gospel. At the start we see Jesus sending out His disciples to drive out demons and to teach the Good News that the Kingdom of God is at hand. Jesus performs a stunning miracle feeding a recorded 5,000 men. That number could skyrocket to close to 20,000 people if you were to include women and children. Peter makes a jaw dropping confession stating that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God. Jesus blesses His disciples with the knowledge that in order to follow Him, they would have to leave everything and take up their cross. We have the transfiguration including the characters of Elijah and Moses. Then we see Jesus rebuke a demon from a child. 

Honestly, this chapter alone should lay the foundation for Jesus being the Messiah, the Son of God. We are not even done yet. There is still more teaching to be delivered before we exit Luke 9 and head into Luke 10.

Recall two weeks ago when Jesus, Peter, James and John exited the mountain and encountered the other disciples. Remember the disciples were defeated and depleted. They were faking it tell Jesus made it. They were operating under their own power and their power was not enough to drive out a horrible demon. Jesus rebukes both the disciples and the demon. 

What is interesting is the conversation that breaks out afterward. Jesus predicts His death for a second time. The disciples still did not understand what was taking place. So, instead of trying to figure out what Jesus is saying, they begin to argue. Who among them will be the greatest? 

Now Jesus is turning His eyes and heart to Jerusalem. He is heading to the cross. However, as He moves to Jerusalem, He is still committed to sharing the Gospel along the way. So, He and His disciples are heading through Samaria. Jesus plans on stopping there to teach and preach. The reaction to His visit is less than positive. He and His disciples encounter some pretty stanch difficulty. Namely, the people are not very receptive. So, let’s read and discover how Jesus deals with these difficult people.

Scripture:

Luke 9:51-56 ESV

51 When the days drew near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem. 52 And he sent messengers ahead of him, who went and entered a village of the Samaritans, to make preparations for him. 53 But the people did not receive him, because his face was set toward Jerusalem. 54 And when his disciples James and John saw it, they said, “Lord, do you want us to tell fire to come down from heaven and consume them?” 55 But he turned and rebuked them. 56 And they went on to another village.

I. The Samaritan’s Response…

Rejection vs. 53

Luke 9:53 ESV

53 But the people did not receive him, because his face was set toward Jerusalem. 

Point:

Rejection never feels good. Sadly, everyone in this room has been rejected. Maybe you asked out a girl and she rejected you. That has happened to me. Still remember how that feels. Maybe you were rejected from a certain college. Maybe you were rejected at school or rejected for that promotion at work. 

Simply put, rejection hurts and stays with you for a long time. 

Point:

Jesus is moving towards Jerusalem because He knows that the cross is near. On His way He decides that He will stop for a time in Samaria to teach and preach. Jesus is very familiar with Samaria as He has had dealings with them in the past. There are lots of reasons that Jesus would be rejected in Samaria. The first of which is racial in nature. Jesus was a Jew. Samaritans were viewed as half breeds. They were Jews who had intermarried with other ethnicities hundreds of years earlier. They had their own culture that differed wildly from the traditional Jewish culture. They even had created their own center of worship outside Jerusalem. They were just different and Jesus did not fit their mold of what a Messiah looked like. 

Suffering rejection because of the color of our skin or our religious background is still alive today. It is tempting to give the side eye to people that look differently than us or have a different experience than what we are used to. 

Jesus was the victim of racism in His own day. He was not welcome in Samaria because of His skin color, the Jewish blood that ran in His veins, and His religious background. 

Point:

Ultimately Scripture tells us the real reason for the Samaritan’s rejection. Jesus had set His gaze on Jerusalem for the Passover event. The Samaritans wanted Jesus to stop and stay in Samaria for that event. In doing so, Jesus would validate their claims on the one true place to worship God. Jesus was not going to fit into their box of what they desired so they said “no”. What they did not understand is also what confused the people in Jerusalem. If you recall, the people ran Jesus out of Jerusalem as well. Jesus did not come to build a Kingdom in Samaria or Jerusalem. Jesus’ Kingdom would be spiritual in nature and eternal in time. 

Point:

The Samaritans rejected Jesus because Jesus did not fit into the box they made for Him. He was not going to be slave, nor would Jesus be directed or told what to do. So they said no.

Point:

People are still guilty of that today. Some reject Jesus altogether because they do not want Him being the authority of their lives. Others reject aspects of Jesus while claiming other parts. They reject Jesus’ as a judge but accept His mercy. They accept His millraces while rejecting His Lordship. They accept His salvation but deny Him their obedience. They accept His healing while rejecting power. 

So, don’t be dismayed when we live and speak our faith and people reject us. They rejected Jesus too. Remember John 15:18 ESV.

John 15:18 ESV

“If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.

I. The Samaritan’s Response…

Rejection vs. 53

II.The Disciples Response…

Destruction vs. 54

Luke 9:54 ESV

54 And when his disciples James and John saw it, they said, “Lord, do you want us to tell fire to come down from heaven and consume them?”

Point:

Have you ever heard the statement, “well that escalated quickly”? Well when it comes to the disciples, you might say that that escalated quickly. Isn’t if funny how quickly we can move from trying to help people to wanting to see them destroyed by fire from heaven and thrown into hell? Literally, the disciples were just driving out demons, healing diseases, preaching the Good News of the Kingdom and now they are wanting to call down fire from heaven to kill these horrible Samaritans. 

Why?

Well no one likes being rejected. That first. Second, the disciples disliked the Samaritans much in the same way that the Samaritans disliked them. I mentioned that the Samaritans rejected Jesus because of His race. Well, the Samaritans had been victims themselves of racism from the Jews for years. They really just hated each other and this nasty ordeal put that hate on display. Both the disciples and the Samaritans are equally guilty of storing up hate in their hearts for one another. The disciples looked at this event as an opportunity to finally rid themselves of an entire race of people. Did you hear what I said? The disciples wanted God to commit full on genocide in the most vicious, visceral, and visual ways possible. They wanted God to send fire from heaven to burn them alive. This was not a joke. This was real life. The disciples were not playing games. This was not some trick of translation. They wanted the Samaritans dead. 

Translation:

The Greek word being used here is ἀναλίσκω and is translated ä-nä-lē'-skō. It is where we get our word annihilate. It means to utterly destroy, to lay waste, to expend, to dispatch, to consume or to use up. The disciples actually wanted to empty God’s storehouse of righteous fire in totally destroying an entire race of people.

The disciples have a lot of low points but this may be their most vile request in the entire Bible. 

Oh, let me also say that they were in total agreement. From Peter to Judas, they had a business meeting and they all voted Robert’s Rules and said “yes”. 

Point:

I think that we would all agree that this is not the Jesus way. When we are rejected because of our faith, we do not act with this sort of hatred and malice. When we do act this way, it says a lot about who we are on the inside. It says a lot about our character. Essentially, we cannot claim to love Jesus and wish death on those who treat us poorly or are inhospitable to us. 

Illustration:

A few weeks ago I was at a drive through at one of our local fast food restaurants. I had just received news that one of our dear church members had passed away. I literally took the call in the drive through line. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. My heart was broken and my spirit was in shock. Thoughts of funeral plans raced through my mind. When would I meet with the family? How was I going to comfort them when I myself was grieving over the loss? Suddenly, my attention was brought back by the wailing of a car horn. I shook off my thoughtlessness and looked in my rearview mirror. Behind me was a man just sitting on his horn. He was animated. He was angry. I waved my hand to let him know that I got the point and he told me I was number one. Immediately my blood boiled. My grief turned to rage. How could this man do that to me when I was hurting? I thought about throwing my truck in reverse and just ramming right there in the line. After all, I have good insurance. In my anger, I remembered the words of Paul.

Romans 12:17-18 ESV

17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

When I arrived to pick up my order, I actually paid for his too. I asked the lady at the window to give him a peace with God tract. I even put my number on it and told him that if I could pray for him to give me a call. Still waiting on that phone call. 

Did I want to pay for his lunch? No! However, God used that moment to teach me something. You never know what’s going on in someone’s life. Truthfully, I have been that impatient person on the other end of the car horn. You know, that experience taught me that its good to relax, to be patient, to show some grace and mercy because you never know how someone might be hurting or what news they have just been delivered. 

Matthew 5:9 ESV

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

I. The Samaritan’s Response…

Rejection vs. 53

II. The Disciples Response…

Destruction vs. 54

III. Jesus’ Response…

Compassion vs. 55

Luke 9:55 ESV

55 But he turned and rebuked them. 56 And they went on to another village.

Point:

During the ministry of Jesus Christ, there were three Samaritans who stand prominent:

The Good Samaritan

The Samaritan Leper

The Samaritan Woman at the Well 

The good Samaritan showed exceeding kindness by doing as much as he possibly could by helping his neighbor who was in need. 

The Samaritan leper, when he realized he was healed, immediately went to Jesus, glorified God and gave thanks, is an outstanding example of gratitude. 

The Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well listened to Jesus and believed what He told her. Then she went to tell others about Him. 

Jesus went out of His way to show that Samaritans were among those who exercised compassion, gratefulness and faith. They were hated by the Jews but what Christ came for was much more important than their walls of separation. 

Jesus said "I have come to seek and to save that which was lost" and His message of the "gospel" (good news) was one that would penetrate far deeper than man had ever seen before. 

Jesus would not submit to the tyranny of those who were closing the door to God. Jesus came preaching the kingdom of God, and Judaism had become a dead system of works that blinded men from the truth and placed heavy burdens on God’s sheep. 

The ministry of Christ began with the Jews and yet He excluded no one. He ministered to Samaritans, to gentiles and to anyone who was willing to believe the truth. 

To understand what Jesus thought about the Samaritans, and the attitude of Jesus to the lost, is to understand God’s heart for mankind. No one is excluded, and no matter how lost they seem, and how deep sin has entered into their lives Jesus loves them and He came to die for their sins.

This was Jesus’ heart. He gave compassion to those that hated Him. He gave love to those that would harm Him. Just because He was rejected does not mean that He would give up on them. 

Point:

Jesus understood the history of the Samaritan people. He knew the abuse they had suffered. He was aware of the racism that they had endured. When people are hurt, they often hurt others. When people are abused, they often abuse others. 

Have you ever heard the phrase “hurt people hurt people”? Well in this case, the statement holds true. Jesus shows tremendous grace to the Samaritan people in just moving on. Just because Jesus keeps His eyes fixed on Jerusalem does not mean that He was giving up on the Samaritans. Hardly. It was the Samaritans that would eventually be some of the first converts to the Christian faith. It would be the Samaritans that would receive the message of Christ, building churches, and be ministered to by the likes of the Apostle Paul. 

Jesus was keenly aware that sometimes it takes time for hearts to change. 

Remember this truth!

Never answer an angry word with an angry word. It’s the second one that makes the quarrel.

Point:

So, how should you deal with difficult people? The temptation is to react the way the disciples did. Reflect their attitude back at them. Destroy them. Minimize them. The trick is to love them the way that Jesus did. Jesus rebuked hatred and showed kindness. Eventually His message would penetrate their hearts. 

When Dealing With Difficult People, Go The Jesus Way!

Be Patient: you don’t know what someone else is going through. 

Be Peaceful: you don’t know what is at risk.

Be Polite: a harsh word is never going to get you far. 

Be Prayerful: it just might be your heart that needs changing.

Colossians 3:12-13 ESV

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Shine Bright For Jesus Today!