The Book of Romans: “Love Over Liberty: Building Up The Family of Faith”

The Book of Romans

Welcome:

Well, folks, good morning. Welcome to Eastern Shore Baptist Church. My name is Stuart Davidson, and I have the privilege of serving as the pastor here. It really is a joy to see all of you this morning, and if you are visiting with us today, we are especially grateful that you chose to be here. You are our honored guest, and we hope you feel right at home.

I also want to take a moment to welcome everyone joining us online. We are thankful that you have tuned in and are worshiping with us today.

Church, I want to point you to our prayer line. Members of our prayer team are ready and engaged to pray for you. If you have a need this morning, you can text your request to 251-222-8977. Someone will receive it and begin praying for you right then and there. So please take advantage of that this morning.

Introduction To Today’s Message:

Friends, I want to ask you a question this morning. What is your favorite sandwich?

How many of you are fans of a good ham sandwich? 

Go ahead, raise your hand.

How many of you are turkey sandwich people? Raise your hand.

How many of you like a good old BLT, bacon, lettuce, tomato?

Alright, let me ask you this. 

I did a little digging. Do you know what the most popular sandwich in America is? I bet many of you already know.

You guessed it the peanut butter and jelly sandwich is the most popular sandwich in these United States of America!

How many of you are peanut butter and jelly fans?

If that is you, you are not alone.

Now think about this. Even though it is the most popular sandwich, there are many schools today that will not allow students to bring peanut butter and jelly. In some cases, peanut products are not allowed at all.

Why? Because there are children with severe peanut allergies. For them, it is not a preference issue. It is a life and death issue.

So what happens? 

A student may have the freedom to bring whatever sandwich they want. They may love peanut butter and jelly. It may be their favorite. It may be the most popular. Yet that freedom is limited for the sake of protecting someone else.

I have seen this personally. 

My oldest son has a best friend named Tyler who has a severe peanut allergy. When he comes over to our house, we make sure anything containing peanuts is put away. We are careful. We are intentional.

Now imagine if I looked at Tyler and said, “That is just too bad. I have the right to eat what I want in my own home. You are just going to have to deal with it.”

You would say that is not loving. That is not welcoming. That is not how you treat someone you care about.

That kind of tension shows up in the church.

Take worship styles. 

Some believers feel strongly about how worship should look and sound. Others feel freedom to approach worship differently. Same Lord, different convictions.

Think about holidays. 

Some families fully embrace Christmas traditions and decorations. Others step back because of personal conviction. They want to be careful about anything they believe might distract from Christ.

This is not theoretical for us. 

It was just a few years ago that we had a family in our church who felt very strongly about Christmas trees in the sanctuary. They believed those trees were tied to pagan practice and did not belong in a place of worship. At the same time, I know our church. We have wonderful members, people I love deeply, who love Christmas trees. They had spent time, effort, and energy setting those trees up. For them, it represented the joy of the Christmas season. For them, that star on top of the tree took them right back to the nativity, to that moment when the star led to the birth of Christ.

So there I was, right in the middle. On one side, a family with sincere convictions they believed honored God. On the other side, families with meaningful traditions that pointed their hearts to Christ. I wanted to honor that family. I also wanted to care well for these others. I felt the pull of both.

So you know what I did? I went to Scripture. I opened up the Word of God and searched it carefully. I looked high and low, trying to find where God had spoken on the issue of Christmas trees in the sanctuary.

Here is what I found. 

There is not a single verse that commands it. There is not a single verse that forbids it. The Bible is simply silent on that specific issue.

Which means this was not a matter of clear biblical command. This was a matter of personal conviction.

We were not able to move past that difference, and that family eventually left.

That is hard. No one wants that.

Here is the reality. In the family of faith, sincere believers will land in different places on issues that are not clearly commanded or forbidden in Scripture.

So the question becomes, what do we do when that happens? Do we insist on our rights, or do we consider one another?

Friends, that brings us to today’s message, the title of my sermon, Love Over Liberty: Building Up The Family of Faith.

Today’s Message:

“Love Over Liberty: Building Up The Family of Faith”

Introduction of Today’s Thought:

Church, let me press this a little further.

When we come together like this, it is very easy to focus on what we do not agree on. It is easy to notice the differences. After all, there are a lot of different opinions in this room.

Some of you are Alabama fans. Some of you are Auburn fans. 

Some of you love football. Others would rather watch baseball. 

Some of you say you should never wear white before Easter. Others have no idea that rule even exists and you’ve been wearing white all year long. 

Some people are disciplined with fitness. Others are trying to get there. 

Some people have strong convictions about what they eat and what they drink. Others approach that with a different level of freedom.

Even when it comes to church life, there are differences. There are churches that believe you should only read one translation of the Bible. Here, even in this church, I use multiple translations when I preach and teach.

The point is simple. We are different.

If we are not careful, we will spend our time focusing on secondary and tertiary issues. We’re gonna have to be careful that we don’t start majoring on the minors. 

We will major on things that were never meant to be central.

God has not called His church to be united around preferences. He has called His church to be united around a Person.

We may not all agree on every detail. We should agree on this. 

Jesus Christ is the Son of God. 

Born of a virgin. 

He lived a sinless life. 

He died in our place. 

He rose from the grave. 

He is the only way of salvation. 

He is the author and the protector of our faith.

Instead of arguing over translations, we can stand together and say this Book is the Word of God. It is without error. It is breathed out by Him. It is useful for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, and for training in righteousness.

So here is the question. What do we do with our differences?

Let’s do this together. Right there under “Today’s Thought,” fill in the blank.

“Love calls all believers to build bridges instead of burning the bonds of fellowship.”

Today’s Thought:

Love Calls All Believers To Build Bridges Instead of Burning The Bonds of Fellowship!

Introduction of Today’s Quote:

Before we move forward, I want to put a voice to what we are talking about today. Listen to this quote from N. T. Wright:

Today’s Quote:

“The church is called to be a place where people of all sorts and kinds come together, and where the normal rules of society are turned upside down. It is to be a place where love overcomes difference, where unity is maintained not by ignoring truth but by living it out in humility and grace toward one another.”

N. T. Wright’s “Simply Christian”

What he is saying is simple, but it is powerful. 

The church is not built on sameness, it is built on Christ. 

In the world, people tend to gather around shared preferences and push away those who are different. In the church, it should be the opposite. We come from different backgrounds, different convictions, different perspectives, yet we are brought together by the Gospel. Unity does not mean we ignore truth. It means we hold tightly to truth while treating one another with humility, patience, and grace. That is what it looks like when love wins over liberty.

Introduction of Today’s Scripture:

Friends, as we come to our Scripture for today, let me remind you where we are in Romans 14.

A couple of weeks ago, we looked at verses 1 through 6. Paul addressed disagreements among believers over disputable matters. 

Food, special days, personal practices. 

Some believers felt freedom in Christ to participate. Others had strong convictions to abstain. Paul made it clear that both groups were seeking to honor the Lord. His instruction was simple. 

Be kind. 

Be open. 

Be welcoming. 

Don’t argue over opinions rather be united in undisputed truth. 

Do not look down on one another.

Last week, we moved into verses 7 through 12. Paul shifted the focus from how we view each other to how we stand before God. He reminded us that we don’t live for ourselves and we don’t die for ourselves. 

We belong to the Lord. 

Every one of us will give an account to Him. 

That means we are not the judge of one another. God alone holds that place.

Now friends, Paul takes it one step further.

In verses 13 through 23, he moves from attitude to action. He shows us what love looks like when believers disagree. This is not just about what we believe. It is about how we live in light of those beliefs. It is about choosing to build up rather than tear down. It is about laying down our rights when necessary for the sake of a brother or sister in Christ.

So with that in mind, let’s turn our attention to Romans 14, 13 through 23.

Statement of Belief:

We are opening the living and powerful Word of God…truth without error, breathed out by Him, and fully sufficient for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness. It is our authority, our guide, and our hope. In honor of the God who gave us His perfect Word, I invite you to stand with me as we read it together.

Today’s Scripture:

Romans 14:13-23 CSB

Therefore, let us no longer judge one another. Instead decide never to put a stumbling block or pitfall in the way of your brother or sister. [14] I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself. Still, to someone who considers a thing to be unclean, to that one it is unclean. [15] For if your brother or sister is hurt by what you eat, you are no longer walking according to love. Do not destroy, by what you eat, someone for whom Christ died. [16] Therefore, do not let your good be slandered, [17] for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. [18] Whoever serves Christ in this way is acceptable to God and receives human approval. [19] So then, let us pursue what promotes peace and what builds up one another. [20] Do not tear down God's work because of food. Everything is clean, but it is wrong to make someone fall by what he eats. [21] It is a good thing not to eat meat, or drink wine, or do anything that makes your brother or sister stumble. [22] Whatever you believe about these things, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. [23] But whoever doubts stands condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith, and everything that is not from faith is sin.

Pastor: “This is the Word of the Lord.”
Congregation: “Praise His name, praise His holy name.”

Scriptural Commands To Building Instead of Burning…

I. Refuse To Abuse vs. 13–15

Well, friends, we have finally made it to the heart of today’s message. You can see there on your outline, Roman numeral I, II, and III, scriptural commands to building instead of burning. 

You can fill in Roman numeral I there on your outline:

I. Refuse to Abuse

Romans 14:13–15 (ESV)

“Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.”

Skip down to verse 15…

“For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died.”

You can see there on your outline a short explanation of the point. 

“Love refuses to use personal freedom in a way that abuses a fellow believer’s conscience.”

Many of you may know, I graduated from Samford University in Birmingham. While I was there, I had a friend named Leo. Leo was a football player, a defensive end, a bruiser. He was one of those guys who just looked strong walking across campus. Sadly, he injured his knee his senior year and it ended his playing career. Still, he wanted to stay close to the game and remain active, so he tried out for the cheerleading squad… and made it.

Leo and I shared several classes together, and we became friends. Around that same time in my life, I was just getting acquainted with the gym. Leo, on the other hand, was on a completely different level. This guy could bench press well over 400 pounds. We would work out together, and it would have been unthinkable for Leo to expect me to lift what he lifted. There is no world where I am getting under 450 pounds and surviving that experience. Leo never once tried to make me carry his weight. He adjusted. He lowered the weight so that he could help me grow. He did not use his strength to impress me, he used his strength to serve me.

Church, that is a picture of what Paul is calling us to in Romans 14. Adjusting our strength so that our brothers and sisters can thrive.

That being said, adjusting our strength does not mean lowering the standard of truth. It does not mean compromising conviction or rewriting what the Bible clearly teaches. 

The weight of truth never changes. God’s Word is fixed, it’s settled. What changes is how we apply our freedom around others. 

It’s not about weakening truth, it is about strengthening love. 

There is a big difference between compromising truth and choosing not to flaunt your liberty. One abandons conviction while the other expresses Christlikeness or follow Jesus. 

This has played out in my own life. When I was younger, I struggled with my language. I would not dare talk that way around my parents, but outside of that, it was a problem. When I got serious about my walk with Christ, that was one of the first areas the Holy Spirit began to change in me.

Stepping into youth ministry made that even more real. It did not take long to realize that this was not just my struggle, it was a common struggle for students. 

They were listening. 

They were watching. 

I had to make a decision that I would not allow old habits to creep into present-day ministry. 

A careless word from me could become a stumbling block for them. That was not a risk worth taking.

That same principle shows up in other areas. I mentioned a few weeks ago that Angela and I have chosen to abstain from drinking. That decision is not rooted in a lack of freedom, it is rooted in love. 

There is a desire to make sure that our liberty never becomes someone else’s liability. 

The goal is not to prove that we can, the goal is to make sure others can grow.

Now look back at verse 13. Paul says, “decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.”

That word “decide” is incredibly important. In the Greek, it is the word krinō (pronounced kree-no). It means to judge, to determine, to resolve. It carries the idea of a settled conviction, something that has already been decided ahead of time. 

This is not reactive, this is intentional.

Paul is not simply calling us to be cautious, he is calling us to be committed. 

Settle it in your heart before you ever walk into the situation. 

Refuse to abuse your freedom in a way that could harm someone else.

This is where love becomes visible. Love steps in and says, “I may have the strength, I may have the freedom, but I am going to adjust… so that my brother, so that my sister, can grow.”

One day, you will stand before God and give an account for how you loved His people.

Look there on your outline let’s read first Corinthians eight verse 12 together…

1 Corinthians 8:12 (NLT)

“And when you sin against other believers by encouraging them to do something they believe is wrong, you are sinning against Christ.”

Scriptural Commands To Building Instead of Burning…

I. Refuse To Abuse vs. 13–15

II. Reinforce The Body vs. 16–19

Friends, let’s move now to our second point, Scriptural commands to building instead of burning. You filled in that first one, refuse to abuse. Now here is your second point:

Reinforce the Body

Paul illustrates this point powerfully in verse 19. 

Romans 14:16-19 CSB

[19] So then, let us pursue what promotes peace and what builds up one another.

Yet again, friends, you can see there an explanation of this second point.

“Love pursues peace and intentionally builds up the family of faith instead of tearing it down.”

Back in 1967, there was a tragic disaster known as the Silver Bridge collapse. This bridge connected Point Pleasant, West Virginia, to Ohio, and during rush hour traffic it suddenly gave way, sending cars plunging into the river below. Forty-six people lost their lives.

What makes that story so sobering is this, the bridge did not collapse because of one dramatic moment. It collapsed because of a small failure that went unnoticed. Over time, the structure was not properly maintained, not carefully inspected, not adequately reinforced. What was once strong and dependable slowly weakened until one day it could no longer hold the weight it was carrying.

Church, we can learn a lot from that example. 

Churches do not usually collapse overnight. Churches that were once strong, healthy, and unified often drift slowly, subtly, almost imperceptibly, until one day the weight becomes too much.

No, for this particular point, I did a lot of studying and a lot of researching I began to ask myself a question why did churches fail?

Why do churches die?

Why the churches that were at one point strong, healthy, vibrant and victorious turn into mausoleums dedicated to better…more faithful days?

I came up with three reasons.

Churches collapse like the old Silver Bridge when they lose focus of their mission. 

Somewhere along the way, the priority shifts. Instead of reaching lost people and making disciples, churches begin arguing over things that do not matter. 

Preferences take center stage. 

Programs replace purpose. 

Conversations revolve more around governance and structure than the Gospel. 

A church can become more known for its red tape than for the red blood of Jesus Christ that saves people from their sin. 

When the mission is lost, the church may still exist, but it is no longer effective.

Churches crumble when apathy sets in. 

Passion fades. 

Urgency disappears. 

People stop leaning forward and start leaning back. 

There is a quote from Nick Saban that captures this well. He said, “There is no such thing as being self-satisfied. You either get better or you get worse. You never stay the same.” 

That truth applies directly to the church. When a church becomes comfortable, when it stops striving, stops serving, stops caring deeply, it does not stay where it is. It begins to decline. 

Apathy will quietly do what opposition could never accomplish. It drains the life out of a church.

Perhaps worst of all…churches are destroyed when trust is broken. 

Nothing devastates a church faster than compromised leadership. 

When ministers fall into sexual immorality, when staff members act dishonestly, when the lifestyle of the shepherd no longer matches the message being preached, the damage is severe. 

The watching world sees it. 

The congregation feels it. 

The unity fractures.

You can see this in real examples like Mars Hill Church under Mark Driscoll, or New Life Church under Ted Haggard. 

In both cases, the leadership failures did not stay hidden. God brought those things into the light, and when that trust was broken, it deeply impacted the church.

Church, when the mission is forgotten, when apathy creeps in, and when trust is broken, the structure weakens. What was once strong begins to erode. That is why Paul tells us in Romans 14 not to tear down, but to build up.

So how do we do that? How do we reinforce what’s already built l?

Well we start by praying for one another. 

Prayer is foundational. 

It is hard to stay angry at someone you are consistently bringing before the Lord. 

Angela and I will celebrate 26 years of marriage this December, and from the very beginning we made a conscious decision to pray for one another. In all those years, I can honestly say we have never gone to bed angry at each other. That does not mean we have never disagreed. It just means we refused to let those disagreements take root overnight. Prayer has a way of softening the heart. When I pray for my wife, my love for her grows. When Angela prays for me, her love for me grows. Prayer reinforces the relationship. Listen to the words of James, the brother of Jesus. 

James 5:16 (ESV)

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

Next, we worship and serve together. There is something powerful about shared experiences in the life of the church. Worship binds hearts together. Communion reminds us that we are one in Christ. Just last week, I shared with our Sunday School about the beauty of the Lord’s Supper, how it brings the whole church together around the same table, focused on the same Savior. Serving together deepens those bonds even more. Mission trips, local outreach, ministry opportunities, these are not just events, they are opportunities for unity. It is hard to stay frustrated with someone when you are laboring side by side for the Gospel, sharing meals, sharing moments, sharing the mission. I’m reminded of 1 Corinthians 10:16-17. 

1 Corinthians 10:16–17 (ESV)

“The cup of blessing that we bless, is it not a participation in the blood of Christ? The bread that we break, is it not a participation in the body of Christ? Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread.”

Third, we speak life into one another. Encouragement is not optional m, it is essential. 

Words carry weight. 

They can either reinforce the body or weaken it. 

A timely word of encouragement can steady a struggling believer, lift a weary friend, or strengthen the unity of the church. 

On the other hand, careless words, constant criticisms, and gossip will fracture what God is trying to build. 

Church, we need to be intentional about building one another up. Look for opportunities to affirm, to thank, to tell someone “I love you”.

Again, I think of what Paul said in Ephesians chapter 4 verse 29…

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Scriptural Commands To Building Instead of Burning…

I. Refuse To Abuse vs. 13–15

II. Reinforce The Body vs. 16–19

III. Respect Biblical Convictions vs. 20–23

Well, friends, we have finally arrived at our last point. You can see it there under Roman numeral III, Scriptural commands to building instead of burning. 

Refuse to abuse, reinforce the body, and now, respect biblical convictions.

Respect Biblical Convictions

We see this point expressed in versus 20 through 23. 

Romans 14:20–23 (ESV)

“Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.”

Friends…

“Love refuses to violate personal convictions shaped by God’s Word, knowing that whatever is not from faith is sin.”

Let me give you a picture that really drives this home.

Back in 1992, the Georgia Dome opened in Atlanta. It took several years to plan and build, cost around $214 million at the time, which would be well over $400 million in today’s dollars, and it was state of the art. There was nothing like it. It hosted Super Bowls, SEC Championship games, major bowl games, concerts, national events. It was the pride of the city and the envy of stadiums around the country.

Thousands of hours, countless workers, incredible resources all came together to build something remarkable.

Then in 2017, after about 25 years of use, they decided to bring it down. The building that took years to construct, hundreds of people to build, and hundreds of millions of dollars to fund… was reduced to rubble in a matter of seconds through a controlled implosion.

Think about that. Years to build. Seconds to destroy.

Church, that ought to get our attention.

Look around at Eastern Shore Baptist Church. Think about what God has done here. 

Think about the people who have been saved. 

The baptisms that have taken place. 

The addictions that have been broken. 

The marriages that have been strengthened. 

The disciples that have been made. 

Think about the years of prayer, the sacrifices, the faithful servants, the countless hours that have gone into building what you are a part of right now.

All of that has taken time. 

All of that has taken effort. 

All of that has taken the hand of God working through His people.

Yet just like that stadium, it could be torn apart far quicker than it was built. It does not take years to destroy a church. It just takes a few sticks of carefully placed spiritual dynamite. 

A little division here. 

A little gossip there. 

A stubborn insistence on being right. 

A moral failure from a spiritual leader. 

A sudden misuse or all together missing offerings or tithes. 

A refusal to yield. 

A willingness to elevate preferences over people.

That is exactly what Paul is warning about when he says, “Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God.”

In other words, do not blow up what God is building over things that do not ultimately matter.

Church, we cannot afford to take something as beautiful as what God is doing and tear it down over trivial issues. Paint colors. Preferences. Personal opinions. Secondary matters. None of that is worth damaging the body of Christ.

Love steps in and says, “This matters too much.”

Love says, “The church is too valuable.”

Love says, “I will not destroy over something that is not eternal.”

That is the heart of this point. Respect biblical convictions, yes, but refuse to turn preferences into points of division. Protect what God is building.

One last thing before we close…

The last statement that Paul makes “For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.”

I really wrestled with that statement. I really struggled with its meaning.

After doing some study I believe that Paul is talking about the human conscience before God. 

If a person cannot do something with a clear confidence that it honors the Lord, then for them, it is sin. 

Even if the action itself is not inherently wrong, the moment you step into it with doubt, hesitation, or a troubled conscience, you are no longer acting in faith.

“Should I watch that rated R movie?”

“Should I go into that bar?”

“Should I drive 80 when the speed limit is 70?”

Basically…if you have to wrestle with your convictions or conscience then rest assured…it’s sin. If you can’t act confidently, if you can’t walk into a situation head held high, it’s probably sin. 

Faith is not just belief in God. It is confidence before God. It is the settled assurance that what I am doing is pleasing to Him. When that confidence is missing, when you are second guessing, when you are ignoring that inner conviction, Paul says that crosses the line.

So this is not just about what is right or wrong in a general sense. This is about what is right or wrong for you before the Lord. God cares about the heart behind the action just as much as the action itself.

Again, let’s go to James Jesus‘s brother and see what he has to say on this matter. James4:17…

James 4:17 (ESV)

“So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.”

So let me close the service this morning with some questions for you to consider. 

How are you building bonds of faith?

Are your choices strengthening others or straining them?

Are your words building up the body or breaking it down?

Are you living with a clear conscience before God, or are you pushing past conviction?

Church, God has called us to build, not burn. 

To strengthen, not stumble. 

To love in such a way that the family of faith grows stronger together.

So let’s be people who walk in faith, who live with conviction, and who build bonds that honor Christ and bless His church.

So church…

How Are You Building Bonds of Faith?

Closing Prayer:

Father, we are blessed to be in your presence this morning. 

You have saved lives, strengthened families, and built something beautiful here at Eastern Shore Baptist Church. God we give You the glory for it.

Help us to be people who build, not burn. Guard our hearts from selfishness and keep us from putting preferences over people. Teach us to love well, to walk in faith, and to live with a clear conscience. 

Strengthen our unity. 

Deepen our love. 

Use us to encourage and lift one another up.

Father, keep this question before us, how are we building bonds of faith? Let our lives reflect an answer that honors You.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.