The Book of Romans: “Big Headed & Small Hearted”

 

The Book of Romans

Introduction:

Good morning, Eastern Shore Baptist Church. My name is Stuart Davidson, and I am so glad that you have come to join us for worship today. Going all the way back to last year, we have been walking through the Book of Romans, and today we find ourselves in Romans 12.

Before we dive into today’s message, I want to take just a moment to welcome all of our guests, whether this is your very first time with us or you have been visiting for a while. We are truly grateful that you chose Eastern Shore Baptist Church as the place to worship today, and we pray that you experience God’s grace, God’s peace, and God’s truth through His Word and through the fellowship of His people.

I also want to welcome those who are joining us online. We are grateful that you are worshiping with us today wherever you are. Let me remind you about our prayer line. The Prayer Line number is 251-222-8977. It does not matter if you are a member or a guest. You can text in your prayer request at any time. A member of our prayer team will pray for you immediately, and chances are you will even hear back from them letting you know that you have officially been prayed for.

Introduction of “Today’s Message”:

Friends, I want to ask you a question. Do you know how long, on average, it takes men and women to get ready in the morning? I did a little research this week as I was preparing for today’s message, and I found that on average, it takes men somewhere between 15 and 23 minutes to get ready in the morning and then go about their day. For women, some studies show the average can be as high as 54 minutes, especially when you factor in hair, makeup, and outfit selection.

Now, it really does not matter if you are a man or a woman. At some point in getting ready, every single one of us is going to look in the mirror. We want to make sure our hair looks right. We want to make sure our clothes fit. We want to make sure we smell good. We want to present the best version of ourselves to the world.

Most of us do not mind looking into a physical mirror. The struggle comes when God holds up a spiritual mirror.

That spiritual mirror is His Word.

We are often much more comfortable using binoculars aimed at everybody else’s flaws than we are looking into a mirror aimed at our own heart.

This morning, as we read Romans 12:16-17, God is holding up a mirror, not to our physical appearance, but to our spiritual condition.

How do you see yourself when you look into God’s mirror?

How do you treat people who hurt you when you look into God’s mirror?

How much do you care about living honorably in front of a watching world when you look into God’s mirror?

Today’s message is  titled “Big-Headed & Small-Hearted.”

When we spend more time admiring ourselves than examining ourselves, our heads get big and our hearts get small. We start thinking too highly of ourselves, too quickly judging others, and too easily justifying our own sin. Paul confronts that mindset in Romans 12. He calls us away from pride, away from retaliation, and toward a humble spirit and an honorable life.

In other words, Paul is inviting us to go the Jesus way.

Today’s Message:

“Big Headed & Small Hearted”

Introduction of “Today’s Thought”:

Church, I want to say three names to you, and I want you to think about this question as I say them, what do these three names have in common?

First, Kirk Cameron. Many of you remember Kirk Cameron as a teen heartthrob in the mid to late 1980s and early 1990s. He starred on the hit television show Growing Pains. His face was on magazine covers. He was adored by fans and widely praised as having a bright future in Hollywood.

Second, Alice Cooper. Known for shocking stage shows, excess, and destructive living. A man whose life and music were once marked by darkness and self-indulgence.

Third, Brian Welch, a founding member of the heavy metal band Korn in the 1990s. A band that was openly anti-Christian, mocking believers and thumbing their nose at God.

Three very different men. Three very different stories. Yet all three share one powerful common denominator.

Each one of them had an encounter with Jesus Christ.

Each one of them walked away from a world of fame, power, fortune, and self-glory to pursue the life Jesus had marked out for them. A life of purpose. A life of hope. A life of salvation.

That leads me directly to our thought for today.

Jesus commands us to possess a humble spirit and an honorable life.

I’ll say it again for you…Jesus commands us to possess a humble spirit and an honorable life. For the record, a humble spirit and an honorable life come only by salvation through faith in Jesus Christ. 

These three men all chose what I would call “the Jesus way”.

Jesus Himself describes it like this in Matthew 7:13-14 CSB:

“Enter through the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the road is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who go through it. How narrow is the gate and difficult the road that leads to life, and few find it.” 

The broad road says, “Live for yourself.”

The narrow road says, “Die to yourself.”

The broad road feeds pride.

The narrow road forms humility.

The broad road chases applause.

The narrow road chooses honor.

Jesus calls us to the narrow way.

A humble spirit.

An honorable life.

Now, on the surface, in a worldly sense, you might look at men like Kirk Cameron, Alice Cooper, and Brian Head Welch and say, “My goodness, they sacrificed so much to follow Christ.” They walked away from future careers that could have earned them millions of dollars. They could have expanded their personal brands across the globe. Artistically speaking, men like Alice Cooper and Brian Welch could have continued reshaping the music industry and influencing culture for decades. From the world’s perspective, it looks like they gave up everything for the sake of the gospel.

However, I believe if you were to sit down with any one of those men and ask them, “Do you regret following Jesus?” every single one of them would say, “Not for a moment.” Because what they gave up in a temporary, earthly sense pales in comparison to what they gained in an eternal, heavenly sense.

Yes, we may sacrifice some worldly things, but we gain so much more. 

We gain salvation. 

We gain forgiveness. 

We gain a new identity. 

We gain a new family in Christ. 

We gain a home in heaven. 

One day we will gain a new body. We gain peace that surpasses all understanding. We gain joy that the world cannot steal. One day, by God’s grace, we will stand before the Lord, and not because of our goodness but because of Christ’s righteousness, we will hear Him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

That is the Jesus way.

A humble spirit.

An honorable life.

And that is exactly what Paul is calling us to in Romans 12

Today’s Thought:

Jesus Commands Us To Possess A Humble Spirit And An Honorable Life! 

Introduction To “Today’s Quote”:

Friends, that leads me to our quote for today. The quote comes from renowned Christian author J.C. Ryle, from his book Practical Religion:

“A humble man will always see more to be humbled about than to be proud of, more to lament over in himself than to be pleased with, and more to condemn in himself than to excuse.”

Today’s Quote:

“A humble man will always see more to be humbled about than to be proud of, more to lament over in himself than to be pleased with, and more to condemn in himself than to excuse.”

J.C. Ryle’s “Practical Religion”

So, what is JC Ryle trying to communicate? 

True humility is not pretending you are worthless, and it is not walking around in constant state of hating yourself. 

Biblical humility is having an honest, sober, God-shaped view of yourself. 

t is recognizing that apart from Christ, you bring nothing to the table. You heard me right. Some of you are uneasy in admitting that. Apart from Christ, apart from what the Holy Spirit does in me, I bring absolutely nothing to table. You can take all my talents, all my abilities, all my intellect, roll it all up and it amounts to nothing to an all powerful, all seeing, immortal, eternal God. 

It is understanding that any goodness in us is the result of God’s grace, not personal greatness. Again, you heard me right. Any good that exists in me, any trait that would make someone say “boy, that Stuart Davidson is sure a great guy”, any encouragement that I may make any of you feel, is all from God. There is nothing good in me. Apart from Jesus, if you were to open up my soul you would be shocked at the darkness and wickedness in my soul. 

If you were to open up my soul, you would be shocked at the darkness and the wickedness that still lives there.

Apart from Jesus, I am lost.

I am selfish.

I am proud.

I am angry.

I am greedy.

I am lustful.

I am bitter.

Apart from Jesus, I am capable of things I do not even want to imagine.

Apart from Jesus, I am not a good man trying to get better.

Apart from Jesus, I am a dead man in need of resurrection.

The same is true for every single one of us.

The Bible tells us that before the flood, the wickedness of humanity was great on the earth, and that every inclination of the human heart was only evil all the time. God was grieved that He had made mankind. That is what the world looks like without the light of God. That is what my heart looks like without the light of God. That is what your heart looks like without the light of God.

The only reason there is any goodness in us at all is because the Holy Spirit has taken up residence inside us. The only reason there is any restraint in us is because God is holding us back. The only reason there is any love in us is because God first loved us.

So there is no room for a big head.

Only room for a humble heart.

Only room for gratitude.

Only room for Jesus.

A humble person spends less time making excuses for their sin and more time confessing it. They are quicker to examine their own heart than to expose someone else’s failures. They do not walk around impressed with themselves. They walk around amazed by God’s mercy.

Introduction of “Today’s Scripture”:

Friends, that brings us to our focal passage of Scripture from Romans today. This morning, we are going to be reading from Romans 12:16-17, from the Christian Standard Bible.

Romans 12 is all about what a transformed life looks like. It is a portrait of the Christian life on the ground level. Not in theory. Not in abstraction. But in real relationships. Real conversations. Real conflict. Real pressure.

In verses 16 and 17, Paul puts his finger on three areas where the gospel must show up. 

One, how we view ourselves. 

Two, how we treat people who hurt us.

Three, how we live in front of a world that is watching every single thing we do and listening to every word we say..

This passage is not about being nicer people. It is about being new people. It is not about moral improvement. It is about spiritual transformation. 

So, before we move on, I want to remind you that…

Statement of Faith:

“We are opening the living and powerful Word of God…truth without error, breathed out by Him, and fully sufficient for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness. It is our authority, our guide, and our hope. In honor of the God who gave us His perfect Word, I invite you to stand with me as we read it together.”

Today’s Scripture:

Romans 12:16-17 CSB

Do not be proud; instead, associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own estimation. [17] Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone's eyes.

Pastor: “This is the Word of the Lord!”

Congregation: “Praise His name. Praise His holy name!”

Paul’s Calling Is To Respond With…

I. Humility vs. 16 “Do not be proud…do not be wise in your own estimation.”

Friends, let’s dive into the heart of today’s message, where we see that Paul’s calling is to respond with Roman numeral one, humility.

Paul’s calling is to respond to hatred, persecution, or even the world…with humility, and we see this right here in verse 16 where he says, “Do not be proud; instead…do not be wise in your own estimation.” Brothers and sisters, you will see the explanation of this point there on your listening sheet. “Humility is choosing a Christ-centered view of ourselves that rejects pride and embraces lowliness of heart.”

Hear me in this church, Paul is not calling us to hate ourselves, he is calling us to stop worshiping ourselves. 

He is saying, “Stop being so impressed with yourself.”

”Stop acting like your opinion is always right, your perspective is always accurate, your motives are always pure, your emotions are always justified.”

Pride has a way of making us the hero in every story and the victim in every conflict. Humility says, “Lord, show me…well…show me “me”.

Humility says, “I do not trust my own estimation, I trust Your evaluation.”

That is exactly why Paul says a few verses earlier in Romans 12:3:

“For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he should think. Instead, think sensibly, as God has distributed a measure of faith to each one.” 

In other words, Paul is saying, “Get your head out of the clouds and get your heart back in the right place.” Paul is not telling you to beat yourself up. He is not telling you to always think negatively of yourself. 

“Oh poor pitiful me, Im just a rotten stinking sinner that is no good to anyone and no help to anything.”

NO friends! That’s not what humility is. Humility is not self loathing, self abasement, or self torture. 

Living humbly means thinking soberly. Thinking accurately. Think with grace in mind. The moment I forget grace, I start believing I earned what God freely gave.

Now, when you want to see what humility looks like…humility with skin on it, you can find it in Scripture. Two women come to mind immediately: Hannah and Mary.

Hannah, the mother of Samuel. Hannah was misunderstood and mocked. She was picked on and provoked. She was bullied and burdened with deep pain. 

She did not posture. 

She did not perform. 

She did not try to impress anyone. 

She went to the house of the Lord and poured her heart out before God. 

The Bible describes her praying in such a way that Eli the priest thought she was drunk. That is not polished religion. That is real, authentic, raw spiritual reality. Hannah’s humility was not weakness. It was faith that refused to pretend. She knew she could not fix her situation, she knew she could not force God’s hand, and she knew that she could not manufacture life. So she did the only thing humble people do, she put herself completely at the mercy of God.

When God answered her prayer, she did something remarkable. She kept her vow. She gave Samuel back to the Lord. She did not cling to the gift more than she worshiped the Giver. That is humility. Pride says, “This is mine.” Humility says, “This is Yours.”

Think about Hannah. Now think about Mary. A young woman in an obscure place, with no platform, no power, no title, no reputation to leverage. Mary would be considered a no body by worldly standards. She was no influencer. Still God chose her to carry the Messiah. Why? Because God has always delighted in using the humble. Mary did not argue with God, she did not demand an explanation, she did not negotiate terms. 

“I am the Lord’s servant. Let it be as You have said.”

Here is what you take away from Hannah and Mary. 

They were not chosen because they were famous, they were chosen because they were faithful. 

They were not chosen because they were impressive, they were chosen because they were surrendered. 

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less. It is living with open hands and a bowed heart.

So Paul says, “Do not be proud.” Hannah shows us what it looks like to pour your heart out before God. Mary shows us what it looks like to submit your life to the plan of God. Romans 12:3 reminds us why humility is the only posture that makes sense for the believer, because everything we have is grace, and every step we take is faith that God Himself has provided.

Paul’s Calling Is To Respond With…

I. Humility vs. 16 “Do not be proud…do not be wise in your own estimation.”

II. Harmony vs. 17 “Do not repay anyone evil for evil.”

Well, friends, we have made it to our second point. Remember, Paul’s calling is to respond to the world with humility. Now, we see in Roman numeral two, Paul’s calling is to respond with harmony.

We see this in verse 17, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil.” Again, you can see there on your listening sheet a brief explanation. “Harmony is responding to wrongs with grace instead of retaliation, trusting God to handle justice.”

Now, harmony is a musical term. Musically speaking, harmony is created when different notes are played or sung together in a way that complements one another. They are not identical notes. They do not sound exactly the same. Yet when they are aligned, they produce something beautiful. Harmony is not sameness. Harmony is different parts working together under the same key.

That is a great picture of the church.

We are different people. Different personalities. Different backgrounds. Different preferences. Yet when we are unified under Christ, walking in the same Spirit, living under the authority of the same Word, something beautiful happens. When the church has harmony, the church has power. When the church has harmony, the church can make a real difference. When the church has harmony, we are able not only to practice the Great Commission, but to live out the Great Commandment. We love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and we love our neighbor as ourselves.

But Paul is not only talking about harmony inside the church. He is also talking about how we respond when people do evil things to us.

When we are hurt.

When we are abused.

When we are betrayed.

When we are lied about.

When we are abandoned.

Our natural instinct is retaliation. Our flesh says, “Get even.” Our flesh says, “Make them pay.” Our flesh says, “They hurt me, I will hurt them back.” But Paul says, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil.”

Jesus is our ultimate example.

He was whipped.

He was beaten.

He was flogged.

He was mocked.

He was nailed to a cross.

If there was ever someone who could have justifiably called down angels from heaven to wipe out His enemies, it was Jesus. Yet instead of vengeance, He chose forgiveness. Instead of retaliation, He chose redemption. Instead of curses, He prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

Here is our central truth this morning. Every person is made in the image of God. You did not create anyone. I did not create anyone. God created everyone. That means no human being ultimately belongs to me. They belong to God. And because they belong to God, God alone has the right to execute vengeance.

Paul says it plainly later in this same chapter:

“Do not avenge yourselves, instead, leave room for God’s wrath, because it is written, ‘Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19, CSB)

So why do we not get to take vengeance? Let me give you two reasons. Friends this is really important. I really hope that you are listening to this part in particular because we have all been there. We have all been tempted to lash out at that person who hurts us. We want to get even with that person that made our lives a living hell. We want that person that believes differently than me to know how wrong they are and it is my job to convince them of the error of their way. 

First, vengeance belongs to God because God sees perfectly and we do not.

Our perspective is limited. Our emotions are unstable. Our information is incomplete. God sees every motive, every word, every action, and every heart. He never gets it wrong. When God judges, He judges righteously.

Second, vengeance belongs to God because God judges justly and we do not.

We are always tempted to be harsher on others and gentler on ourselves. God shows no favoritism. His justice is pure, holy, and true.

By the way, that does not mean there are no earthly consequences for wrongdoing. God has ordained governing authorities to restrain and combat evil. God has put in place governments to keep order, and administer justice. Scripture tells us that rulers are God’s servants for this purpose.On an individual level, as a follower of Jesus Christ, Stuart Davidson does not get to take vengeance. You do not get to take vengeance. We place our case in the hands of God.

Even if someone escapes justice in this life, no one escapes the justice of Almighty God. Every person will stand before Him one day.

That is why Peter writes:

“Don’t repay evil for evil. Instead, pay back evil with good. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.” (1 Peter 3:9, NLT)

Harmony says, “I trust God with what happened to me.”

Harmony says, “I refuse to let bitterness poison my soul.”

Harmony says, “I will respond with grace, because grace is what saved me.”

Paul is calling us to go the Jesus way.

Not retaliation.

Not revenge.

Not bitterness.

Harmony.

Grace instead of vengeance.

Trust instead of payback.

Paul’s Calling Is To Respond With…

I. Humility vs. 16 “Do not be proud…do not be wise in your own estimation.”

II. Harmony vs. 17 “Do not repay anyone evil for evil.”

III. Honor vs. 17 “Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone's eyes.”

Well, friends, we have finally made it to our last point. Again, Paul’s calling is to respond with humility, harmony, and in Roman numeral three, Paul’s calling is to respond with honor.

We see this in verse 17, “Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone’s eyes.” Again, you can see there on your listening sheet the final explanation. “Honor is intentionally choosing a lifestyle that reflects Christ in a way that earns credibility with both believers and unbelievers.”

Living honorably does not happen by accident. You don’t just stumble and fall your way into living honorably. Paul says we’ve got to give careful thought to it. 

That means honor is intentional. 

It is deliberate. 

It is a daily decision to ask, “Does this reflect Jesus?”

All of you know that I am a massive 80’s music and movies fan. Im am a child of the 80’s after all. 

Many of you remember that 1980s classic, “The Karate Kid”. Daniel, Mr. Miyagi, Johnny, they are all there. 

When we are introduced to Daniel, he is the new kid who has just moved to Los Angeles. He is living in a run-down apartment complex. He is trying to figure out school, friendships, and where he fits in. Pretty quickly, Daniel runs afoul of a group of boys who are trained at a dojo called Cobra Kai. They are aggressive. They are violent. They are all about dominance, power, and revenge.

Daniel eventually forms a friendship with Mr. Miyagi, and that relationship introduces us to two very different paths.

Cobra Kai represents attack, aggression, vengeance, and power at all costs.

Mr. Miyagi represents restraint, discipline, defense, patience, and honor.

Those two dojos are not just fighting styles. They are two completely different worldviews. Two completely different ways of living.

The tension of the movie really centers on this question. Which way will win? The way of vengeance or the way of honor? The way of power or the way of principle?

Do you remember at the start of the film, Daniel is tempted to be a member of Cobra Kai. He even visits the dojo and looks into casting his lot with the antagonist of the film, Johnny and Master Kreese. If you think about it, Daniel’s journey is a lot ours. There have been lots of times where I have been tempted to get even, to strike back, to let that person have it. Thankfully, God’s call is strong and pulls me back. Sadly I wish I could say that I always listened to God’s call. I haven’t. However, the times that I choose God’s way, the path of Christ, I am left with a sense of peace that surpasses all understanding. Back to the movie, at the end of the film, we all know what happens. Daniel chooses the harder path. He embraces discipline. He practices self-control. He refuses to become what his enemies are. And in the end, he is vindicated.

Here is the connection. It is always easier to live the Cobra Kai way. It is always easier to strike back. It is always easier to clap back. It is always easier to return fire. It is always easier to live reactionary.

Paul is calling us to the Miyagi way. The Jesus way. The honorable way.

Paul says, “Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone’s eyes.” That does not mean everyone will agree with you. It does not mean everyone will like you. It does not mean everyone will affirm you. It means that even your enemies will have to admit, “There is something different about them. They are consistent. They are sincere. They are genuine.”

Peter says it like this:

“Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may, because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation.” (1 Peter 2:12, NASB)

Notice what Peter is saying. People may still talk. People may still criticize. People may still misunderstand. But over time, a life of consistent honor becomes undeniable.

So how do we live honorably in a world where everyone believes something different?

We anchor our lives to God’s Word.

We submit our choices to the lordship of Jesus.

We speak truth with love.

We show grace without compromising conviction.

We live in such a way that our private character matches our public confession.

Honor is not perfection.

Honor is direction.

It is waking up every day and saying, “Jesus, I want my life to point to You.”

Paul is calling us to something better than big-headed living.

Something better than small-hearted living.

He is calling us to humility.

He is calling us to harmony.

He is calling us to honor.

So let me leave you with one simple question.

Will You Go The Jesus Way Today?

Closing Prayer:

Father God, Lord, we are grateful to be in Your presence today. Lord, thank You for Your Word that we have opened from Romans chapter 12. Thank You for the Apostle Paul, and for the way his words, inspired by Your Spirit, are just as applicable today as they were when he first wrote them.

Lord, I pray for every person in this room, and for those who are watching us online, and for every member of Eastern Shore Baptist Church. God, help us to live our lives with humility, harmony, and honor. Help us to walk with a humble spirit. Help us to pursue peace with one another. Help us to intentionally live in a way that reflects Jesus.

Lord, may people see Christ in us. May they recognize the character and the countenance of Jesus through our lives. May we live favorably among all people. May we speak words of life, and love, and truth. May we stand unapologetically and unashamed upon Your Word.

Father, we confess that this world often feels like shifting sand beneath our feet. But we thank You that we get to stand on the solid rock of Your love, Your truth, and Your peace.

Lord, for anyone here today who is hurting, for anyone who is suffering, for anyone who is weary, or discouraged, or in need of hope, I pray that they would find it here. I pray that they would find it in Jesus.

Father, if anyone today is longing to join this church family, if anyone is sensing Your call to baptism, if anyone needs to pray with someone, or take a step of obedience, Lord, may they know that now is the time.

Speak to us, God. Guide us. Draw us close to Yourself. And may Your Holy Spirit never let us go.

We ask all of this in the strong and precious name of Jesus.

Amen.