The Book of Romans: “Your Ego Is Not Your Amigo”

 

The Book of Romans 

Introduction:

Good morning Eastern Shore Baptist Church and good morning to any of you who might be visiting with us this morning. What a blessing it is to see you this morning. Thank you for worshipping with us today. 

I was in 6th grade and I was in love. Her name was Brittany and she was the most beautiful thing these young eyes had ever seen. Being the suave debonair young man that I was, I did what any kid my age would do…I wrote her a “love” note. 

(Show Picture of Stuart in 6th Grade)

Not a love letter mind you, a love note. You know the one! The check “yes” or “no” if you like me sort of note. I wrote out the note in my best penmanship. I folded carefully. On the front of the note I wrote “To Brittany from me”. Naturally she knew the me to be…well…me. I gave the note to my best friend, a kid named Mark Hofer. Mark received the note with a question of his own, “Stuart, if things don’t happen for you and Brittany, can I ask her to be my girlfriend?”

A silly question because what young lady could refuse this boyish charm and these good looks? 

“No need Mark! No need! There is no way that Brittany will refuse me.”

After all, I was all caught up on the Cheers episodes and I had carefully studied the courting of Sam and Diane. 

For those of you who didn’t grow up in the 1980’s and early 1990’s, that reference will be lost on you but you can go to the Google machine and arrive at the context for yourself. 

So, Mark passed along the note and the short wait that I was expecting turned into a long wait. Days went by with no response from Brittany. Then one day I showed up to school and I saw some of my classmates pointing and laughing. They were sort of snickering in the corner. I shrugged it off. Oh well, who knows?

When I arrived to my classroom, I noticed that the laughing continued. There was a small group of kids huddled at the chalk board at the front of the class. There on the chalk board hung an unfolded note. I could see the “yes” “no” boxes prominently featured. I could see that a giant red X had been placed in the “No” square. It was at this point that I realized that Brittany had taken my love note and placed it at the front of the class for all to see. She refused my boyhood affections. 

Everyone should now say “ahhhhh”. 

Thank you! 

Chances are you have a story like that. A story of embarrassment. A story that we can laugh about today but in the moment…hurt. You might even say that it led to a bruising. Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t know what exactly I was feeling but today I can put that feeling to words. 

You see friends, it was on that day in 6th grade that I was introduced to something that had laid dormant in me. I didn’t realize that I possessed one but after this moment, I realized that sadly it possessed me. For the record, everyone in this room has one. There are occasions where you can control it but if truth be told, it often times controls you. 

Do you know what I am talking about? Do you know what part of me I was introduced to that day in 6th grade? A day that I will never forget. 

I was introduced to my…EGO! 

That’s right friends. I was introduced to my ego and boy howdy was it ever bruised and beaten. I didn’t like the feeling of a bruised and battered ego. What is an “ego” you may ask?

Well let’s look at the definition of “ego” in spiritual terms. 

Ego is that inflated sense of self-importance. It’s that inner voice that constantly says, “Look at me”.  It’s the self centered part of our spirit that desires applause, wants to be recognized, and demands being thanked. Our ego is always wanting credit for the good things that we have done. However, our ego is the part of our spirit that causes us to run from responsibility. Our ego demands control but is always looking to cut the strings of obligation. The ego is that voice that says “Look at me” but it also says “that’s not my fault”.  

From a biblical standpoint, ego is what happens when self sits where the Savior should. It’s pride in disguise! Ego is the tendency to think too highly of ourselves or to live as if our worth depends on our performance instead of God’s grace.

I heard an acrostic for “Ego”. 

E-G-O

Ego at its purest form is simply this…Edging God Out. Ego is more of ourselves, more of Stuart, none of God. 

Ego is the enemy of humility, the rival of grace, and the roadblock to spiritual growth.

Church, this morning we are going to be looking at Romans 12:3. We will read it in just a moment. In this short Scripture, Paul gives us a brief roadmap on how to truly live as Christ did. Jesus always had His priorities in the right place. Obedience to God. Love of others. Then personal needs. For the record, Jesus did have personal needs. He did. He ate. He slept. He had a home, family, parents, friends. Jesus lived and experienced everything in this life. Hear me here friends. It is not sinful to have and address your personal needs. It is ok to eat when you are hungry. It is ok to save for the future. It is ok to even enjoy life. We know that Jesus worked. He even went fishing. Jesus laughed. He had fun. Told jokes. He did things for Himself and others did things for Him too. There is nothing wrong with meeting a need that benefits you. However, when the pursuit of serving yourself steps in the way of serving others and serving God, you have a problem. 

In my 47 years of living on planet earth, I have discovered that there is no better way to lead others to Christ than putting God first, others second, and self last. People are drawn to this type of servant leadership. 

The opposite is also true. There is nothing that turns people off from God and Christ faster than we put ourselves first and forget the other two. 

You might say it like this, brothers and sisters, your ego is not your amigo. Your ego is not your friend. 

In fact that is the title of my message this morning. Your ego is not your amigo. 

Today’s Message:

“Your Ego Is Not Your Amigo”

Ego is just another word for “pride”. Our ego is just pride’s voice! Pride is the root and ego is the echo. Pride builds the platform and ego climbs up to take a bow. 

Pride says, “I deserve the credit,” while ego says, “Make sure everyone sees me get it.” The ego feeds on pride like a fire feeds on oxygen. The more attention it gets, the stronger it grows. When pride runs unchecked, the ego becomes a wall between us and God. It keeps us from repentance, resists correction, and robs us of dependence on grace. That’s why Scripture reminds us that “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6) Because as long as pride rules and ego reigns, there’s no room left in our hearts for Jesus to be Lord.

Do me a favor this morning and fill in the blanks under “Today’s Thought”. 

Pride distorts our view, divides our relationships, and destroys our witness! 

I’ll say it again. 

Pride distorts our view, divides our relationships, and destroys our witness! 

Pride can puff you up. Pride swells our sense of self. Have you ever been in one of those funhouses. You know the ones. The ones that have all the mirrors that distort how you look. Some mirrors make you look tall and thin and others make you look squatty and overweight. Pride skews our perspective. It chances how we see ourselves. Another example is a filter on Snapchat. Pride is just like a filter that makes us look different, smoothing out all the imperfections, all the wrinkles, all the stains. Pride can make small problems huge and big problems small. 

Pride divides our relationships. Pride turns conversations into competitions and disagreements into divisions. Pride keeps us from saying “im sorry” when we have made mistakes or when we have hurt our friends. It keeps us from forgiving. Our egos, fueled by pride wants to win every argument even if it means we lose the relationship. 

Pride destroys our witness. Nothing turns people off from Christianity faster than a Christian who is full of themself. Nothing runs people off from Christ faster than a Christian who struts instead of serves. Remember this friends, pride doesn’t just hurt our image, it destroys our influence. 

Today’s Thought:

Pride Distorts Our View, Divides Our Relationships, And Destroys Our Witness!

I love what C.S. Lewis says on the matter of pride and the ego. This quote is from one of his greatest books entitled “Mere Christianity”. 

“Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind. It is Pride which has been the chief cause of misery in every nation and every family since the world began.”

Today’s Quote:

“Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind. It is Pride which has been the chief cause of misery in every nation and every family since the world began.”

-C.S. Lewis’ “Mere Christianity”

Background and Context:

This morning, we find ourselves in Romans chapter 12 verse 3. This is now the 20th week that we have been reading through Paul’s letter to the church in Rome. Quickly, when you read verses 1 and 2 of Romans 12, Paul calls us to offer our bodies as living sacrifices and to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. In those verses, Paul deals with our relationship to God, how we worship, think, and surrender to His will. Now, in verse 3, Paul shifts the focus from our vertical relationship with God to our horizontal relationship with others. He’s moving us from personal transformation to practical application. In these verses Paul warns against pride, against ego, and against worshipping ourselves. Pride has no place in the surrendered life of a true Christian. Essentially, Paul encourages us to move to a state of mind that acknowledges that everything we have ultimately comes from God. 

So again, we are in Romans 12:3 this morning. As you find your place in the Scripture, I want to remind you that…

Statement of Belief:

“This morning, we opening the living and powerful Word of God…truth without error, breathed out by Him, and fully sufficient for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness. It is our authority, our guide, and our hope. In honor of the God who gave us His perfect Word, I invite you to stand with me as we read it together.”

Today’s Scripture:

Romans 12:3 NASB

For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.

Pastor: “This is the Word of the Lord.”

Congregation: “Praise His name. Praise His Holy name. 

3 Perspectives From Paul Concerning Pride…

I. Remember The Grace That Grounds You: “For through the grace given to me…”

This morning I believe that Paul is providing for us 3 unique perspectives concerning pride. Our first perspective comes from Paul’s opening statement in verse 3, “For through the grace given to me…”. 

Fill in that first blank for me this morning. Remember the grace that grounds you!

Another way to say it is like this…

“Everything in the Christian life flows from grace, not greatness.”

My favorite all time pastor and teacher is Billy Graham. I love Reverend Graham. I find myself listening to old Billy Graham messages when I am at home doing chores, or when I am running. I find Billy Graham’s sermons to be theologically rich, doctrinally deep, and powerfully profound. I love his speaking style. He doesn’t dance around issues and nor does he rely heavily on stories or jokes. 

When it came to preaching and teaching, the Bible was enough for Billy Graham. 

When I go back to watch old sermons of his I am in awe of all the people that he introduced to the Gospel. He would fill stadiums. Billy Graham was so adept and wise that he was often asked to give counsel and prayer to Presidents. No doubt that Graham was one of the most respected voices for Christianity in the 20th century. For years I thought that Billy Graham was a self made, self taught, man of greatness. You know how some men just seem to be born for greatness? That’s what I thought of Billy Graham. 

Not so! It’s tempting to think that Billy Graham, with all of his success, did it all on his own. That’s incorrect. He was not a one man show. In fact, Billy Graham was quick to admit that without his wife Ruth and his tremendous ministry team, there would have never been a Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. 

Ruth, Billy’s wife, was his spiritual anchor. Ruth would pray earnestly for her husband when he felt weary and exhausted. It was Ruth who would sense when her husband started believing the self defeating, self loathing, lies of the enemy. She would often come to him, encourage him, and keep him moving forward. Then you get to his team, men like Cliff Barrows, George Beverly Shea, and Grady Wilson, who handled the music, logistics, and all of the follow up ministry. 

In seminary I learned that Billy Graham would never travel alone. In fact, Graham would not stay in a hotel room by himself. He was so concerned with private, hidden, secretive sin that he would always travel with a companion, a faithful brother, so that the temptations that come with traveling alone could not find a foothold in his life. 

Billy Graham knew that the fastest way to bring reproach on Christ, the quickest way to destroy his ministry, the fastest way that Satan could destroy his legacy was for him to allow himself to walk down the road of adultery or sexual sin. Over the years, Graham allowed himself to to be held accountable and because he was accountable, he was successful. 

He substituted ego for…accountability.

He substituted pride for…purity.

If you subtract Ruth and Billy Graham’s faithful team, you don’t have the same ministry or legacy. 

Paul tells the Corinthian church that it was…

1 Corinthians 15:10 CSB

“the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.

You see friends, Billy Graham understood that he did not arrive to where he was on his own. He had help. First, he had God. God gifted him with unusual and unique gifts. God gave him the ability to speak, to formulate powerful messages, to hear from the Holy Spirit, to preach, to teach, and to deliver messages that pierced the hearts of men and women. Without God, Graham was nothing. 

His success in ministry had very little to do with his own ability and everything to do with God’s grace. He didn’t build his life or his legacy on charisma, confidence, or control. He built it on the grace of God that both saves us and sustains us. He knew that every sermon, every stadium, and every soul reached for Christ was the result of God’s gracious hand, not his own giftedness.

Brothers and sisters, it’s all because of God’s grace that we are who we are, where we are, and whose we are. The Greek word that Paul uses here for “grace” is charis pronounced KHAH-rees and it also means favor or gift. It is where we get our English word for “charity”. Grace is not earned, it is given. It is bestowed. When we truly understand charis, we become less self important and our gratitude grows. 

Friends, that’s what Paul is reminding us of here in Romans 12:3. Before we ever think too highly of ourselves, we must remember the grace that grounds us. Grace keeps our feet on solid ground when ego wants to lift us into the clouds. Grace reminds us that we are vessels, not victors; servants, not superstars. Grace humbles us enough to realize that without Christ, we can do nothing, but with Him, there’s no limit to what God can do through a surrendered life.

So before you start believing your own press, before you start thinking you’ve made it on your own, stop and remember: every gift, every opportunity, every success is a grace gift from the Lord. And when you remember the grace that grounds you, pride loses its power, and God gets the glory.

3 Perspectives From Paul Concerning Pride…

I. Remember The Grace That Grounds You: “For through the grace given to me…”

II. Resist The Pride That Puffs You Up: “not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think”

So, our second perspective this morning concerning pride is this…

Resist the pride that puffs you up. We find this point in the next part of verse three. 

“not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think”

I gave you an explanation of this point there on your sermon notes. Check out what I wrote there for you. 

“Pride blinds us to our dependence on God and our need for others. It is the great divider of churches and the quiet killer of service.”

When I was writing this message and I used the phrase “puffs you up”, it made me think of a little fish.  You probably know the one that I am talking about. The “puffer fish”. Ever seen one of those little fellas? I have a few times. 

Puffer fish are pretty small, relatively harmless looking fish until they get spooked or threatened. When they feel attacked or insecure they swell with air like a balloon. They can fill with air and become roughly 5 to 6 times their normal size. They go from looking pretty small and insignificant to big, bold and kinda impressive. 

Here’s the funny thing though, they are just filled with air. Making matters worse, when they choose to puff themselves up, they become slower, more vulnerable, and easier to catch. What they do as a protective mechanism actually puts them in greater danger. 

I know a lot of people who are like puffer fish. Sadly, there have been times in my own life where I have been the puffer fish. 

Friends, that is what pride looks like in a nutshell. 

Pride puffs us up bigger than we are but it actually makes us weaker. It fills us with spiritual hot air. 

When we inflate ourselves with ego, we lose the ability to move with humility. We become more concerned with looking impressive than being obedient. Just like that puffer fish, we think our pride protects us, but it actually exposes us. Pride makes us defensive when we should be dependent. It slows us down when we should be serving.

It reminds me of Proverbs 16:18. 

Proverbs 16:18 NLT

Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall.

How can you tell if you are a puffer fish sort of person? How can you tell if you might be heading for a fall, pushed over the edge by pride?

You can tell you’re a “puffer fish person” when you spend more time defending yourself than depending on God. When correction feels like criticism instead of a chance to grow. When you get more joy out of being noticed than being useful. When you start comparing instead of caring. When the success of others secretly bothers you because you feel like it takes away from your own. You know you’re puffing up when the smallest slight feels like a personal attack, or when you always have to get in the last word.

Pride has a way of sneaking in quietly. It hides behind phrases like, “I’m just confident,” or “I’m just passionate,” when really it’s saying, “I want control.” But the truth is, pride always leads to the same place, isolation, frustration, and eventually destruction. 

The key for every Christian life is to not lived puffed up and prideful. Instead we should want to live lives poured out as an offering for Christ. 

When you humble yourself before God, you don’t lose strength, you gain it. When you stop inflating yourself, God starts filling you. Humility doesn’t make you smaller; it makes more room for Jesus to shine through you. So friends, deflate pride, depend on grace, and let the Holy Spirit keep us from floating into danger.

3 Perspectives From Paul Concerning Pride…

I. Remember The Grace That Grounds You: “For through the grace given to me…”

II. Resist The Pride That Puffs You Up: “not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think”

III. Rejoice In The Faith That Frames You: “think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.”

So, let’s finish the message by filling in our final blanks this morning. Our last perspective concerning pride. 

Rejoice in the faith that frames you. Again, go back to the end of verse three. 

“think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.”

Think of Paul’s encouragement like this…

“Every believer is gifted to serve a unique role. Our worth is not found in comparison, but in completion. We complete each other in Christ Jesus.”

God has given you a part to play, a role to fulfill, and a gift to use for His glory and for the good of His people. Do not envy the gifts you do not have, celebrate the grace you do have. Paul says God has allotted to each a measure of faith. That means you are not an accident in the body of Christ, you are an assignment.

Think of the church like a symphony. You have strings, violins, violas, cellos, and double basses. You have woodwinds, flutes, oboes, clarinets, and bassoons. You have brass, trumpets, trombones, French horns, and tuba. You have percussion, timpani, snare, cymbals, even a bass drum. Sometimes there is a harp or a piano. None of them are louder than the other the whole time, each has moments to carry the melody, then they blend back into harmony. What makes it beautiful is not one section showing off, it is every section showing up. The score matters, the timing matters, and the Conductor matters. Church, Christ is our Conductor, Scripture is our score, the Spirit sets our timing, and our varied gifts create the beauty. When each believer plays the part God assigned, the church does not make noise, the church makes music.

This point got me thinking about sports. I love baseball, 9 guys working together for a common goal. Not all 9 can be the pitcher. The shortstop cannot be the first baseman and the right fielder can say that he is done playing right field, he wants to go catch now. No, they have to all work together with their specialities, so that the team can win. What about football? No everyone can be the quarterback. The center cannot snap the ball to himself and go out for a pass. No, football requires everyone using their gifts and talents to score a touchdown. 

Michael Jordan is my all time favorite athlete. I grew up as a kid watching Jordan. 

Early in his career Michael Jordan put up incredible stats, points, highlights, and headlines. But the championships did not come until he had a team playing in rhythm together, Scottie Pippen, Horace Grant, later Dennis Rodman, and a system that valued the pass, the screen, the rebound, and the role. When the team moved from one hero to many hands, the titles followed. That is Romans 12:3 lived out. Do not try to be the whole team, play your position well, trust your teammates, and follow the play that the Coach draws up.

Here is how Peter says it.

1 Peter 4:10 GNT

Each one, as a good manager of God's different gifts, must use for the good of others the special gift he has received from God.

Friends, my calling is to pastor, to shepherd, lead, and feed the flock of God. But I can’t do it alone. The church is not a one-man band, it’s a body, a family, and a team. It takes all of us working together, using the gifts God has given, to make ministry happen and to make the Gospel known. 

The church needs teachers who explain God’s Word with clarity and conviction. 

It needs encouragers who lift weary hearts and remind us that God is still faithful. 

It needs servants who meet physical needs with compassion and a smile. 

It needs administrators who bring order to our efforts, musicians who lead us into the presence of God through worship, and intercessors who quietly cover the rest of us in prayer. 

It needs givers who fund the mission, greeters who welcome guests with warmth, technicians who make sure the sound and screens run smoothly, and custodians who make sure the building is clean and inviting for those who will come and hear the Gospel.

It needs the ones who rock babies in the nursery, who may never step on a stage but are loving little ones so parents can hear the Word in peace. 

It needs the ones who stand in the parking lot, waving, directing traffic, and creating a friendly first impression. 

It needs those who cook meals for funerals, visit the sick, write cards, call the lonely, fold newsletters, and stuff bulletins. 

It needs the ones who mow the grass, arrange flowers, count the offering, and serve behind the scenes in ways few will ever notice. 

All of those gifts matter. Every role is sacred. Every act of service is seen by the Lord, even if it’s unseen by others.

The beauty of the body of Christ is that it’s not about the platform, it’s about the people. It’s not about the spotlight, it’s about the Savior. When each of us rejoices in the faith that frames us, when we use our gifts not for applause but for obedience, we stop comparing and start completing. We stop competing for attention and start collaborating for God’s glory. And when that happens, the church doesn’t just function, it flourishes. The body moves as one, the Kingdom grows, and the name of Jesus is lifted high.

I think that you get the picture friends. There is no room for pride, no room for ego in this Christian life. It’s about Him and it is all about humility. 

I don’t know who said this but I think that it is great way to wrap up today’s message. 

Humility Is Not Thinking Less of Yourself But Thinking of Yourself Less!

Closing Prayer:

Father God,

we come before You today humbled and grateful for Your amazing grace. Thank You for reminding us that everything we are and everything we have is a gift from You. Forgive us, Lord, for the times when pride has puffed us up, when ego has edged You out, and when we’ve thought too highly of ourselves. Teach us again what it means to walk in humility, to live grounded in Your grace, not inflated by our own importance.

Lord, help us to see our church, not as a stage for our talents, but as a body for Your glory. Thank You for every gift You’ve placed in Your people, the teachers and encouragers, the servants and givers, the musicians and greeters, the quiet prayer warriors and the ones who work faithfully behind the scenes. Remind us that no act of service is small when it’s done for You. Knit our hearts together in unity so that, like a symphony, we would make beautiful music for Your Kingdom, each of us playing our part, following the direction of our great Conductor, Jesus Christ.

Father, help us to resist the pride that puffs us up and rejoice in the faith that frames us. May we celebrate one another’s gifts, encourage one another’s growth, and honor You in all we do. Let this church be known, not for its programs or performances, but for its people, humble, grace-filled, and joyfully serving the Savior who gave His all for us.

And Lord, as we leave this place today, help us to remember: it’s not about us, it’s about You. Let our words, our work, and our worship point others to Jesus. For it’s in His holy and powerful name that we pray…

Amen.